Short Funny Quotes | Funny Life Quotes | Cool Funny Quotes - Page 16

Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, damn you’re good.

0

Don’t be so open minded that your brain falls out.
– G.K. Chesterton

0

Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.
– Ambrose Bierce

0

Sometimes I pretend to be normal but it gets boring so I go back to being me.:p

0

If a robot does the robot is it still the robot or is it just dancing?
The last thing I want to do is hurt you… But it is still on my list :)

0

I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn’t a professional, the knife had butter on it.
– Rodney Dangerfield

0

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America’s Cup, France is accusing the U.S. Of arrogance, Germany doesn’t want to go to war.
– Chris Rock

0

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform?

0

My psychiatrist said to me, “Take these pills and you’ll be all right.” I told him that there’s nothing wrong with me, it’s the rest of the world, “I know. But it’s easier for you to take the pills than the rest of the world.”

0

Tell me what you need, I will tell you how to get along without it.
Never give the devil a ride, he will always want to drive.

1

I’ve lost many things… Of all those, my mind is at the bottom of my ‘to find’ list…
You should never care what others think, they don’t do it very often.

0

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep.
– Albert Camus

0

If you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it’s one of two things, either a new girl, or a new car!

0

“Global Warning Or Not…I’m Increasingly Getting Hotter Day By Day”

0

It takes one woman twenty years to make a man of her son – and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him.
– Helen Rowland

0

I do this real moron thing, and it’s called thinking. And apparently I’m not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
– George Carlin

0

Suicide is a way of telling God, You can’t fire me I quit!!!!!
– Bill Maher

1

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

0

Smile and the world smiles with you.
Laugh and they’ll think you’re on drugs.

1

Technology made life easy, Humans lazy.

0

Copyright © 2006-2024 - Browse Quotes By Subject | Browse Quotes By Author | About Us | Blog | FAQ | Privacy Policy