Short Funny Quotes

Welcome to the dark side. What? Surprised? We lied about the cookies.

Submitted by: Brittany B

Inside me is a thin person screaming to get out … But she has trouble being heard through all the fat.

Submitted by: Freakychick

Daughter- iPod,
SON- iPhone,
MOM- iPad,
DAD- iPay.. …!

Submitted by:

I don’t really care whether a glass is half empty or half full, all I know is that I want my glass filled!!

Submitted by: Funnieboiy

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then againm neither does milk.


If you can’t impress anyone with your intelligence confuse them with your bulls***!!!

Submitted by: Buju Aka Israr

I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday and Friday is so close to Monday.

Be a nerd – no one can kill what already has no life.

Submitted by: blarg

Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy.
– Frank Sinatra

I always lie. Trust me.

Submitted by: AlexL

I saw a bug then I thought of you so I stepped on it.

Submitted by: :)Skyler(:

All of us would like to vote for the best president, unfortunately he is never a candidate.

Submitted by: Yung Zavage

Patience is a procrastinators excuse!!!

Submitted by: Heather

Immature is the word mature people use to describe fun people.

Submitted by: KylerBoz52

There’s no vaccine against stupid.

Copyright © 2006-2018 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote