Short Funny Quotes

“Killer Attitude”
Teacher : why are you late?

Student : Does it really matter? You still get paid !! =P

Submitted by: Chirag goyal (chiggs) on December 26, 2011

My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.
Winston Churchill

Every time I see a math word problem it looks like this:
If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples. How many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Purple because aliens don’t wear hats.

Submitted by: sweetpea on December 6, 2012

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it? A secret. Duh!

Submitted by: Natalie Martinez on November 5, 2007

The more I study, the more I know, the more I know, the more I forget, the more I forget, the less I know so why study?

Submitted by: Luke/Balzo on January 7, 2010

I’m not afraid of death, I just don’t wanna be there when it happens.

Submitted by: trueblue on February 14, 2012

If there’s a Hell on Earth, it’s high school.
– Lisa Desrochers

We live in a world where losing your phone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

Students are the only costumers who don’t want what they paid for.

Submitted by: bukenyaaw on November 4, 2010

“Hahahahaha! I can’t believe you just tripped and fell over nothing!”
“What do you mean? I was just testing gravity…it works!”

Submitted by: Bri on July 20, 2011

Bungee jumping is suicide with strings attached!

Submitted by: M.J. McGuire on January 29, 2014

I put the pro in procrastination.

Submitted by: Theodore on March 5, 2010

A tattoo is a permanent reminder of temporary insanity.

Submitted by: Kiera on August 28, 2011

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Dave Barry

The party in hell, has been canceled due to the fire.

Submitted by: shelly omish on June 22, 2011

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