Short Funny Quotes

I told my mom that my house was her house and she yelled at me, “Get of my property”.

Submitted by: The Awesome 1

Age is just a number? Yeah and weed is just a plant!!!!!

Submitted by: mw is cool

Don’t kiss by the garden gate,
Love is blind, but the neighbors ain’t

Submitted by: ada ally

I’ll be back in 5 minutes. If I’m not read the first sentence again.

Submitted by: Hitsugaya'sgirl

Weather forecast for tonight: dark

Submitted by: mackeeenzzie!

Suicide is the most sincere form of self- criticism.

When life gives you lemons, ask why…cos I don’t get it.

Submitted by: Tin tiN

Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is.

Submitted by: vincent king

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Submitted by: mickey

Why would life give you lemon…life is not a lemon tree!

Submitted by: bis

Dear Algebra,
Quit asking us to find your ‘x’, she’s not coming back!
Love, Me.
P.S. And don’t ask me ‘y’ either.

Submitted by: ~Blackheart~

A boomerang is just a Frisbee for people that don’t have any friends.

Submitted by: Victoria

Make it idiot- proof, and someone will make a better idiot!\

Submitted by: Lisha

Hitting the gym to release stress is not nearly as effective as hitting the people that cause the stress to begin with.

Submitted by: Ezzard

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
Mark Twain

Copyright © 2006-2018 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote