I don’t understand why funeral has the word “Fun” in it.
If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell. – Steven Wright
I swear, I don’t mind being fat…Until we reach a mall. Then I wish I was skinny!
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice. – Franklin P. Jones
I like fat people more than I like thin people, things are always a lot more funnier when they happen to fat people.
Are you free this weekend?… No, I’ll be expensive.
Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
Wear Short Sleeves! Support the right to bear arms!
If someone says that you drawing looks ugly, say I didn’t mean to draw you.
Attraction is temporary love but love is permanent attraction.
Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life!
They say you can’t have your bread buttered on both sides, I say, you can, but you might get your hands dirty in the process.
The amount of people that confuse “to” and “too” is amazing two me.
One thing you are sure you will do for the rest of your life: Pull the door that says push.
Some guys will tell you they love you, and won’t even know your favorite color.
Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
I’ve got problem for your solution…
I’m not lying, I just forgot the truth.
May the itch of a thousand crabs affect the one who ruins your day and may their arms be too short to scratch.
Don’t try to be different, just be good. Because now a days just being good is different enough.
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