Don’t try to be different, just be good. Because now a days just being good is different enough.
Saw this on vest of a motorcycle rider on a calif. freeway Could you drive any better If that phone Was up your a**!!!
If you think the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you should probably water your lawn.
If nothing in life is free, why do they make samples!
They said the world is going to end this year…Pssh They can barely predict the weather.
That moment of fear when you can’t get a ring off your finger.
I save trees everyday by not doing my homework.
I posted on your wall. No, not Facebook, look at the side of your house.
Hard Drive: The part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it. – Dave Barry
I’ll admit I’m hot, but don’t blame me for global warming.
I’m as single as a dollar and I’m not looking for change.:)
Drunk people run stop signs, high people wait for them to turn green.
A wife is a friend first, a lover second, and third and probably most important, a maid. – Jarod Kintz
To find out a girl’s fault, praise her to her girl friends.
You call it immature, I call it having a good time. You call it a crime, I call it legal.. I didn’t get caught yet. Wanna see the rest of my dictionary?
Damn, I forgot to go to the gym yesterday! That’s 10 years in a row now…
They say that love is more important than money, have you ever tried paying your bills with a hug? – Nishan Panwar
I only drink on two days when it rains & when it doesn’t.
Whatever it is – I didn’t do it!
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time. – Steven Wright
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