Ok so I applied for a job at a mental hospital and they said I needed 24 hrs experience with a retard..so …uhh…um do you wanna hang out?
If Barbie was so popular, Why do people buy her friends ?
You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
There are three types of people in this world: Those who can count, and those who can’t.
Homework is killing trees, stop the madness!
Stop waiting for Prince Charming. Get up and find him. The poor idiot may be stuck in a tree or something.
A good listener is usually thinking about something else.
Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.
Everybody’s has a boyfriend or a girlfriend and I’m just like “I love food”.
I only drink alchohol on days that end in y…
Flying is learning how to fall without hitting the ground.
Why is it called a “building” when it’s already been built?
If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is not for you.
Why is the slowest traffic of the day called “rush hour”?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, But if the doctor is cute forget the fruit.
Don’t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse.
Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
Don’t follow my footsteps I run into walls!
You study to remember If you remember too much you forget If you forget you don’t know what you studied If you forgot what you studied you fail your test. SO WHY STUDY? xD
Never apologize for saying what you feel cos its apologizing for being real.
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