Short Funny Quotes

My girlfriend is so ugly, two guys broke into her apartment. She yelled “Rape!” They yelled “NO!”

Life is a little easier for attractive people, can we admit that? Think about it, if a stranger smiles at you and they’re attractive, you think, “Oh, they’re nice,” but if the stranger’s ugly, you’re like, “What do they want? Get away from me weirdo.

If you have to release bad news to the public, it would help if you are not ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly

The probability of a topic appearing in an exam increases exponentially, if one decides to leave it completely!

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Behind a successful student, there is a good teacher.
But behind a failed student…..

A beautiful teacher !!!

They gave me the questions which I don’t know,
So I wrote answers which they don’t know.
Tit for Tat dis is called ATTITUDE.

Acne: Oh you have a date coming up?

Let me invite some of my friends

When the biggest pimple in the history of pimples decides to show up on picture day.
Thanks for coming out on photo day, my beloved pimple.

If you fall I’ll be there to catch you.
– Floor.

Submitted by: John on March 19, 2016

Whenever you’re talking to someone who is really attractive, the odds of you doing something stupid are multiplied by 1000.

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Do something good, no one sees it…Do something embarrassing, everyone sees it…

Have you ever noticed how parents can go from the most wonderful people in the world to totally embarrassing in three seconds?

We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. “Well, I’m bored. Let’s go brush our teeth.” Or, “I’ve got to make a phone call. Hold this gum in your mouth.”

There are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere: “Hold my purse.”

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