Stupid Quotes & Sayings

I used to follow my dreams, but then the court sent me a restriction order!

Submitted by: Lissy on April 11, 2013

Showing you are stupid is one thing. Opening your mouth and proving it is another.

Submitted by: Sheila on March 27, 2013

Bagels, bagels, I like bagels! Soft and round, round and soft with a spot.
Spot, I had a dog named spot once. He had a long life.
Life. Lemme tell you something about life. It cost 10 bucks. That’s crazy right?
One time I was so crazy they stuck me in a looney box and guess what the fed me there
Bagels, bagels I like bagels.

Submitted by: APerson on February 1, 2013

Cheryl is going to a funeral, I think someone died.

Submitted by: John on January 31, 2013

Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

Submitted by: sandra blackburn on January 1, 2013

It is what it is or is it?

Submitted by: faith on January 1, 2013

Oh no she didn’t
Sweetie I think she just did.

Submitted by: isis smith on December 4, 2012

The day is brighter than the night.

Submitted by: dennis chrinskey on November 27, 2012

You’re stupid if you think that you’re smart.

Submitted by: Ahmed on November 27, 2012

It has come to my attention, that air pollution is polluting the air!
George W. Bush

I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don’t always agree with them.
– George Bush

I think we agree, the past is over.
George W. Bush

My job is a decision- making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions.
George W. Bush

It’s clearly a budget. It’s got lots of numbers in it.
George W. Bush

I think war is a dangerous place.
George W. Bush


It is a basic human right to be as safe in any building, during an earthquake, as when standing in the middle of an open football field.

Submitted by: Boghos L. Artinian on November 17, 2012

Someone asked me where I was born, I said the local hospital!

Submitted by: Zach on October 24, 2012

I always lie. Trust me.

Submitted by: AlexL on October 24, 2012

If you were a potato, you would be a good potato.

Submitted by: Emily on October 19, 2012

Why can’t I get any soup with this fork?

Submitted by: A Stupid Friend on October 7, 2012

We are all stupid, the only difference is the degree of our stupidity.

Submitted by: prf Nkhamu on September 18, 2012

I have two sons. Both are boys.

Submitted by: Mark on August 1, 2012

62.3% of all statistics are made up.

Submitted by: Dwight on July 20, 2012

Once upon a time, every person on earth were extremely intelligent, then the TV was invented.

Submitted by: Snake on July 10, 2012

To kill a mocking bird. Now that’s one less bird that will wake you up, with it’s chirping!

Submitted by: Lex on July 2, 2012

Video games – the virtual world which always offer you the second chance whenever you lose.

Submitted by: smelodon on June 30, 2012

If aliens come down to earth looking for intelligent life. Wrong planet. Sorry.

Submitted by: DAVE on June 10, 2012

I’ll think about considering it.
Me too, as well, also.
Only half the lies I tell are true.
I would explain myself, but for your level I would need some puppets and crayons.
Not even duct tape can fix stupid.

Submitted by: Jimmy It on June 6, 2012

People should have to take an IQ test before they’re allowed to breed.

Submitted by: Jimmy It on June 6, 2012

I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. He said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me. Wait.

Submitted by: Tara on June 2, 2012

Submit A Quote

Copyright © 2006-2018 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote