Television Quotes, Sayings about TV

Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.

Submitted by: Darian on May 12, 2013

My parents told me “You watch too much TV and should try reading more!” So I turned on the subtitles.

If it were not for Thomas Edison, we would all be watching television in the dark.

Submitted by: Shorty on September 27, 2009

That awkward moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Groucho Marx

When your favorite TV show is on and you can’t find the remote.

Once upon a time, every person on earth were extremely intelligent, then the TV was invented.

Submitted by: Snake on July 10, 2012

That frustrating moment when every TV channel is on a commercial break.

Television Quote: That frustrating moment when every TV channel...

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there’d be peace.
John Lennon

TV has made dictatorship impossible, but democracy unbearable

Submitted by: Obi on June 16, 2009

I never thought television would or could be a long- term commitment.
– Jimmy Smits

Chuck Norris doesn’t watch TV, TV watches Chuck Norris.

Submitted by: DMR on January 6, 2011

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV.
Jerry Seinfeld

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn’t danced on television.
Erma Bombeck

Television is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright


Television keeps the masses occupied. What if everyone decided they wanted to make something of their lives? Television keeps the competition down and keeps more criminals off the street. What if everyone decided to go to law school or medical school? It would sure make it tough on the rest of us.
– Jim Urbanovich

Television is a new medium. It’s called a medium because nothing is well-done.
– Fred Allen

All television is educational television. The question is: what is it teaching?
– Nicholas Johnson

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
Erma Bombeck

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
– Fred Allen

I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can’t smell it, can’t eat it, can’t taste it. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera: “Well, here it is. You can’t have any. Goodbye.”
Jerry Seinfeld

Remote controls are quite handy. They let you see that there’s nothing worth watching on TV a lot faster.
– Melanie White

Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off.

Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
– Henny Youngman

Chilling out on the bed in your hotel room watching television, while wearing your own pajamas, is sometimes the best part of a vacation.
– Laura Marano


I have never seen a bad television program, because I refuse to. God gave me a mind, and a wrist that turns things off.
– Jack Paar

I think you might dispense with half your doctors if you would only consult Dr. Sun more.
– Henry Ward Beecher

Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.
Kurt Vonnegut

A lot of TV is put together by teams, by writing staffs and several different directors. It’s a great, very smart way to make television. It’s worked for however long TV’s been around.
Louis C.K.

Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.
Alfred Hitchcock

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