Witty Quotes, Sayings with verbal humor

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And some we want to leave footprints on their face.

Submitted by: Amber

A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.

Submitted by: Matt

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?
– Albert Einstein

Submitted by: maria

I’m not bossy I just know what you should be doing.

Submitted by: hoodyninja

If your glass is half empty, get a smaller glass.

Submitted by: Erik

There is no such thing as lousy weather. Just lousy clothing.

Submitted by: victor

Why do psychics ask your name?

Submitted by: Juddy

45.65% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Submitted by: Juddy

I used to be indecisive but now I’m not too sure.

Submitted by: quulkid

When life hands you lemons don’t be afraid to say “No thank you”.

Submitted by: Ashley Abrahams

It never rains on a dry day.

Submitted by: Tom

I’m not opinionated. I’m just always right.

Submitted by: Tom

So who cares if I have imaginary friends I like them better than you.

Submitted by: M.M.G

Top 10 reasons I procrastinate:

Submitted by: joseph

If I can be of any assistance don’t think twice about asking, actually don’t even think once about it.

Submitted by: KJ

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