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Witty Quotes | Witty Phrases | Sayings with Verbal Humor - Page 9

I’m going to sell my vacuum cleaner. It’s just sitting around collecting dust.

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When life gives you lemons make lemonade, that throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons, until they give you the oranges you originally asked for.
– Cassandra Claire.

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Save the world. Destroy humans.’

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A rolling stone gathers no moss… But if I stop the stone then it still takes a long time for the moss to grow.

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They say you should never look back, so I focused on what was in front of me. Little did I know… A car was coming…

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Did you just call me pedantic?
(Please say there are people who get this one =P!!)

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If you pull enough strings, you’ll end up pulling ropes.

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It is so easy I can sleep with my eyes closed.

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East or West, Home is best
…”I see you’ve not been to North”

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Water and oil creates a heterogeneous mixture, oil always rises to the top. An argument with me is equivalent to this phenomenon.

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To the guy who texted me the last day
“I love you. So what do you think?”

A reply to him.
“Yes. Of course even I love myself”.

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He was a modest man, with much to be modest about.

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Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.
– Queen Elizabeth II

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Department of redundancy department.

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A good man is hard to find, but a hard man is better!

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Canada gave America Justin Bieber. America gave Canada the first nuclear wasteland.

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If you can keep your head while all around you lose theirs. Then you really don’t appreciate the seriousness of the problem.

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Let’s agree that some days we are the pain and some days the a**!

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My Friend doesn’t want Monday to come. I was thinking I could put the word out and see if any of the other days might do a double…Sunday, you Free?

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Brevity is the soul of wit.

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