Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings
The only two good balls I hit all day was when I stepped on a rake.
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
– Dave Barry
Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.
A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
– Ted Ray
To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!
Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.
Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.
I don’t like your golf tips. I just came here to get flustered in order to cut on my weight.
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods
Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.
That ball rolled like a dead rat in a corn field.
That ball came off the club face like a cotton ball.
I really, really do not like golf, I simply just love it.
I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.
My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.
I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.
Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.