Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

The only two good balls I hit all day was when I stepped on a rake.

Submitted by: Brian

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Dave Barry

Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.

A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
– Ted Ray

To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!

Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.

Submitted by: Lipschitz
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Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

Submitted by: Cheryl Erickson

I don’t like your golf tips. I just came here to get flustered in order to cut on my weight.

Submitted by: Wasswa samuel anderson

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods

Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.

Submitted by: Kay Goodman

Get
Out
Leave
Family

Submitted by: Mike

That ball rolled like a dead rat in a corn field.

Submitted by: Simon28

That ball came off the club face like a cotton ball.

Submitted by: Simon28

I really, really do not like golf, I simply just love it.

Submitted by: Hamilton Lloyd

I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.

Submitted by: Hamilton Lloyd

My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.

Submitted by: Hamilton lloyd

I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.

Submitted by: BELMAN

Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.

Submitted by: mic

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