Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

The only two good balls I hit all day was when I stepped on a rake.

Submitted by: Brian

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Dave Barry

Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.

A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret


Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
– Ted Ray

To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!

Whoever said “Practice makes perfect” obviously never played golf.

Submitted by: Lipschitz

Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

Submitted by: Cheryl Erickson

I don’t like your golf tips. I just came here to get flustered in order to cut on my weight.

Submitted by: Wasswa samuel anderson

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods


Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.

Submitted by: Kay Goodman


Submitted by: Mike

That ball rolled like a dead rat in a corn field.

Submitted by: Simon28

That ball came off the club face like a cotton ball.

Submitted by: Simon28

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