Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
– Gerald Ford

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
– Paul Harvey

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
– P.J. O’Rourke

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret

A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.
– H. G. Wells

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
– G. K. Chesterton

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
– Ben Hogan

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex- wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
– Lee Trevino

I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
– Rogers Hornsby

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The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
Phyllis Diller

Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
– Buddy Hackett

You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.

Submitted by: lau

My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.

Submitted by: Hamilton lloyd

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
– Billy Graham

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop

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