Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.
A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.
The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.
Swing hard, in case you hit it!
You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.
I never found golf interesting, but then I learned thats just where men go to let go of there anger.
My golf score seems to improve considerably when I have the score card.
The difference between a great golfer and an average golfer is not that a great golfer is incapable of hitting a poor shot, it is what he does after that shot.
I hold several records on the golf course, but they all pertain to beer.
They named it GOLF because all the other Four- Letter words were taken.
If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.
– Sam Snead
If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
– Bob Hope
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
– Ben Hogan
I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
– Buddy Hackett
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
– Phyllis Diller
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan
The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can’t improve your lie.
– George Deukmejian
I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
– Lee Trevino
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon
I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.
– Muhammad Ali (When asked about his Golf game)
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon
Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
– Paul Harvey
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
– G. K. Chesterton