Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.
– Sam Snead

You’ve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.
– Sam Snead

Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.

Submitted by: mic

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards ?
– Al Boliska

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
– Gerald Ford

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
– P.J. O’Rourke

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
– Winston Churchill

I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
– Rogers Hornsby

A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.
– H. G. Wells

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
– G. K. Chesterton

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
– Ben Hogan

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
Phyllis Diller

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods

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