Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.
– Sam Snead

Golf is an unusual game. When you have a good day, you can’t wait to get back out there, and when you have a bad day, you can’t wait to get back out there.

Submitted by: mic

You’ve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.
– Sam Snead

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards ?
– Al Boliska

I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
– Gerald Ford

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
– P.J. O’Rourke

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
– Winston Churchill

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
– Ben Hogan

I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
– Rogers Hornsby

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
– G. K. Chesterton

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
Phyllis Diller

A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
– Jimmy Demaret

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.
– H. G. Wells

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
– Paul Harvey

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