Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
I found Jesus on the golf course. Well at least I heard his name several times.
A “Lion” would never cheat on his wife but a “Tiger Wood”.
The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.
Swing hard, in case you hit it!
You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.
I never found golf interesting, but then I learned thats just where men go to let go of there anger.
My golf score seems to improve considerably when I have the score card.
The difference between a great golfer and an average golfer is not that a great golfer is incapable of hitting a poor shot, it is what he does after that shot.
I hold several records on the golf course, but they all pertain to beer.
They named it GOLF because all the other Four- Letter words were taken.
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon
I’m the best. I just haven’t played yet.
– Muhammad Ali (When asked about his Golf game)
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon
Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
– Paul Harvey
I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
– G. K. Chesterton
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer
Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
– Winston Churchill
I know I’m getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.
– Gerald Ford
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.
– H. G. Wells
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
– Billy Graham
I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
– Rogers Hornsby
You’ve just got one problem. You stand too close to the ball after you’ve hit it.
– Sam Snead
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
– Dave Barry