Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings
I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
– Ben Hogan
You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex- wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
– Lee Trevino
A good golf partner is one who’s always a little bit worse than you are.
I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
– Rogers Hornsby
The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.
– H. G. Wells
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
– Phyllis Diller
Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods
I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
– Buddy Hackett
You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.
My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
– Billy Graham
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan
Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.
The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny
He ain’t no tiger… He’s a cheetah.
For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
– Dave Barry
I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.
I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.
Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.