Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan

Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

Submitted by: Cheryl Erickson

The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.

Submitted by: Alastiair

Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny

I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.

Submitted by: Hamilton Lloyd

He ain’t no tiger… He’s a cheetah.

Submitted by: Bobby

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
Dave Barry

I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.

Submitted by: BELMAN

Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.

Submitted by: RobertM
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To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
– Ted Ray

Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.

Submitted by: Kay Goodman

It says something about the stupidity of a game where the lowest negative score wins.

Submitted by: RobertM

They named it GOLF because all the other Four- Letter words were taken.

Submitted by: Danny Chetty

His swing looks like he’s fighting off a swarm of bees
His putting stroke looks like he is trying to kick- start a Harley.

Submitted by: homer

I don’t like your golf tips. I just came here to get flustered in order to cut on my weight.

Submitted by: Wasswa samuel anderson

The difference between a great golfer and an average golfer is not that a great golfer is incapable of hitting a poor shot, it is what he does after that shot.

Submitted by: Liam

Golf, a sport for the poor admired by the rich.

Submitted by: clive Ntuli

That ball rolled like a dead rat in a corn field.

Submitted by: Simon28

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