Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
Phyllis Diller

Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.

Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
– Buddy Hackett

You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.

Submitted by: lau

My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.

Submitted by: Hamilton lloyd

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
– Billy Graham

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan

Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

Submitted by: Cheryl Erickson

The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.

Submitted by: Alastiair

Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny

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