Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
– Phyllis Diller
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.
– Tiger Woods
Work is for people who don’t know how to play golf.
I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
– Buddy Hackett
You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.
The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
– Billy Graham
I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer
My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.
Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon
If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop
The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan
Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.
The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.
Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny