Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex- wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
– Lee Trevino

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
– Ben Hogan

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course.
– Hank Aaron

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.
– G. K. Chesterton

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If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
Bob Hope

Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose.
– Winston Churchill

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
Phyllis Diller

The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf – it’s almost a law.
– H. G. Wells

I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
– Lee Trevino

I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
– Rogers Hornsby

Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
Dave Barry

Golf is a game in which you yell “fore,” shoot six, and write down five.
– Paul Harvey

Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
– P.J. O’Rourke

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer

If I had cleared the trees and drove the green, it would’ve been a great shot.
– Sam Snead

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