Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 2
Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
When you see a homeless man, feel no pity. He should have listened to his wife.
Little girls grow up to be ladies…Little boys grow up to be big boys
MEN ARE LIKE BUSES… IF YOU MISS ONE ANOTHER ONE WILL BE COMING IN 5 MINUTES.
Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do- it- yourself” types.
Men are like Bluetooth connection, when you are beside them, they stay connected but when you are away, they search for new devices.
My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
- Tim Allen
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
What do men and clouds have in common???… When both are not around its a nice day!
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
- Elayne Boosler
If you want to give a guy a compliment, just tell them that they are good at video games.
A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!
A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.
- Dino Levi
Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.
- Tim Allen
To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.
- Rita Rudner
Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
- Maryon Pearson
If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.
They all say they’re different but really they’re all just the same – boys.
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
- Erica Jong
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner
A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
- Lana Turner
It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends with the same boss.
Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.