Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 2

2

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

50

When you see a homeless man, feel no pity. He should have listened to his wife.

Submitted by: Brooke
50

Little girls grow up to be ladies…Little boys grow up to be big boys

Submitted by: frosty
65

MEN ARE LIKE BUSES… IF YOU MISS ONE ANOTHER ONE WILL BE COMING IN 5 MINUTES.
Funny Men Quotes Quote: MEN ARE LIKE BUSES… IF YOU MISS...

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Submitted by: JoeAnn
3

Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do- it- yourself” types.

6

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
– Tim Allen

7

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

54

What do men and clouds have in common???… When both are not around its a nice day!

Submitted by: Only meeeeeeee
7

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

3

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
– Elayne Boosler

18

If you want to give a guy a compliment, just tell them that they are good at video games.

Submitted by: Michaela Cx
9

A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!

Submitted by: lynelle
8

A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.
– Dino Levi

4

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.
– Tim Allen

4

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.
Rita Rudner

6

They all say they’re different but really they’re all just the same – boys.

Submitted by: alexlouise
4

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
– Maryon Pearson

9

If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.

20

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Submitted by: Archita
9

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
– Erica Jong

11

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

5

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
– Lana Turner

32

It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends with the same boss.

Submitted by: hajira
5

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason

5

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.


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