Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

Things you’ll never hear a man say…

Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
– Letters to Juliet, the movie.

Submitted by: brooklynne

A women needs a man like fish need a bicycle.

Submitted by: Sonia

A man is always ready to go, it’s a women that says whether yes or no!

Submitted by: Peter

While creating men, God promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world, then He made the earth round.

Submitted by: Jessica!

Men…. I don’t get them, they spend 9 months of their life waiting to come out and the rest of their life trying to get in.

Submitted by: Lynn

Men are like trees, they take forever to grow up.

Submitted by: Madisoneats pickles

We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.

Submitted by: C Ray

Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Submitted by: admin

Women fake orgasms and men fake finances.
– Suze Orman

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

Submitted by: Doug Dunn

He suffers from delusions of grandeur; nevertheless he is truly grand!

Submitted by: Boghos L. Artinian

Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.

Submitted by: Tandy

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner

A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner

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