Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

If women belong in the kitchen, shouldn’t men belong in the garage with all the other tools?! (- :

Submitted by: Ryleeeee

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

They say, “Early to bed, early to rise makes a Man healty, wealthy and wise”, Well I’m not too sure if its entirely true, because I have never seen a healthy, wealthy and wise man.

Submitted by: Adity

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, every Saturday he and his friends will load up beer and go fishing.

Submitted by: Gray

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

Q: Why is it so hard to find a man that’s caring, considerate, and nice?
A: Because he already has a boyfriend.

Submitted by: Beth

Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it’s quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
Rita Rudner

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

Things you’ll never hear a man say…

There are two kind of men who don’t understand women: singles and husbands.
Wise woman always support there husbands career, they know there investing in a higher- future- alimony.
Having more than one wife is bigamy, having more than one husband is insanity!

Submitted by: Angel-100%NL-

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
– Tim Allen

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
– Erica Jong

Husbands are like fine wine. They take time to mature.
– Letters to Juliet, the movie.

Submitted by: brooklynne

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus; ex’s are from Uranus.

Submitted by: Doug Dunn

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