Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 4

50

When you see a homeless man, feel no pity. He should have listened to his wife.

Submitted by: Brooke
50

Little girls grow up to be ladies…Little boys grow up to be big boys

Submitted by: frosty
54

What do men and clouds have in common???… When both are not around its a nice day!

Submitted by: Only meeeeeeee
65

MEN ARE LIKE BUSES… IF YOU MISS ONE ANOTHER ONE WILL BE COMING IN 5 MINUTES.
Funny Men Quotes Quote: MEN ARE LIKE BUSES… IF YOU MISS...

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Submitted by: JoeAnn
34

A man woke up in the morning with a headache and saw a rose, an Aspirin, water and a note on the bed side table written on it: “Breakfast is on the table I am off to the store”.
When he went down stairs he saw his son and asked him what happened last night.
His son said “Well you came home drunk and when mom tried to kiss you, you yelled “Get off me lady I am married!”
Getting drunk: $65
Calling a cab when you’re too drunk: $21.50.
Saying the right things at the right time: Priceless.

Submitted by: MiseryinMakeup
41

Men are like chocolate bars…they’re sweet and smooth but head straight for your hips.

Submitted by: lucie stone
13

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin

54

So many men so little asprin.

Submitted by: Jóna
2

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

16

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

5

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason

7

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
– Zsa Zsa Gabor

11

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
– Lana Turner

5

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
– Rene Descartes

12

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
– Gloria Steinem

4

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
– Maryon Pearson

4

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.
Rita Rudner

3

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
– Elayne Boosler

3

Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do- it- yourself” types.

5

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

9

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
– Erica Jong

6

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

5

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
– Lana Turner

6

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
– Tim Allen

9

If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.


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