Funny Men Quotes and Sayings - Page 4

12

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
- George Carlin

13

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
- George Carlin
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10

You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
- Bill Maher
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54

So many men so little asprin.

Submitted by: Jóna
5

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
- Jackie Mason

7

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

10

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner

2

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

15

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. And they are both disappointed.

4

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.
- Tim Allen

7

The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.

7

A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.
- Dino Levi

5

Perfect numbers like perfect men are very rare.
- Rene Descartes

12

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
- Gloria Steinem

4

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
- Maryon Pearson

4

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.
- Rita Rudner

3

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
- Elayne Boosler

3

Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do- it- yourself” types.

5

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

8

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
- Erica Jong

6

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

5

A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
- Lana Turner

6

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
- Tim Allen

9

If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.

6

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner


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