Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal
Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
Sarcasm (because punching people in the face is illegal) <3.
I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?
I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.
There is a fine line between fashion and circus. So where’s the tent?
The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out of 10 doctors would prescribe.
Mom: Have you picked out what you’re wearing to school tomorrow?
Mom: What is it?
Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.
I am not bad. I am just dangerously awful.
Instant idiot, just add alcohol!
You’d make the perfect blueprints to build an idiot!
Have you heard about the discount for deodorant from Nivea?
No sh*t Sherlock!
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
Man, I sure do hate a bag of air with chips in it.
Person 1: What do you think we should make for dinner?
Person 2: Food.
Person 1: Did you fall?
Person 2: No, a bunch a kids wanted to play ping pong with my a**.
Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.
You: Go to hell.
Me: I go on vacations there.
I became so religious so that I could pray for you to burn in hell.
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
How very observant of you there captain obvious.