Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings
If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil.
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
Someone who thinks logically, provides a nice contrast to the real world.
You were looking good from afar.. now you’re far from looking good.
I like you. People say I’ve got no taste, but I like you.
“Are you sarcastic?” “Well no duh!”
Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.
A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system.
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Shut up, will you?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?
Sarcasm helps keep you from telling people what you really think of them.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend, and inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
I’m impressed, I’ve never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.
Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
Violence won’t solve anything….But it sure makes me feel good.
Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.
think I am sarcastic?
Watch me pretend to care!
To fail you have to try. To try you have to fail first to start again.
Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!
Do I know Sarcasm? Why yes he’s my best friend…
I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!
That is the ugliest top Ive ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.
I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
But in your case,
Go ahead.
You: “Why are you here?”
Me: “Well… heaven didn’t want me,
And hells afraid I’ll take over.”
When you think your best isn’t good enough, more than likely it isn’t.
My loyalty cannot be brought, however, it can be rented.
Wow…that outfit is unique…ain’t wrong to be different..
but..you’re just asking people to make fun of you.
Where did you graduate again? The university of DUH??
I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…
Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
So, this is where our diligence has led?
Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?