Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
You just bought an expensive gift for someone.
Person: Oh my, how did you manage to buy this for me?
Me: Well, urm I just exchanged it for a lot of money.
If I wanted to kill myself I’ll have to climb your ego and then jump to your IQ.
12 am call from a friend.
Friend: Are you asleep?
Me: Nope, I just like dancing at midnight while everyone is asleep.
Oh look?? I found your nose all up in. My damn business again!!!!
I asked God to punish me, next day I met you.
Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?
Are you sleeping?
– No, I am trying to hear what the pillow says.
Let’s share, you’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.
Yet, I didn’t understand that she was intentionally disguising her feelings with sarcasm; that was usually the last resort of people who are timid and chaste of heart, whose souls have been coarsely and impudently invaded; and who, until the last moment, refuse to yield out of pride and are afraid to express their own feelings to you.
– Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Waitress: Would you like a table?
Me: No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please!
Bully: And what are you going to do about it?
Me: Nothing, but if you don’t do something about that attitude, you may get stuck.
Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: No. I dug my way up from hell.
Don’t give up, girl! Keep chasing him! But I guess he runs away because you have a beautiful face in ugly people’s point of view.
1st Person: Did you fall?
2nd Person: Of course not! I just attacked the floor.
I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.