Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
Person: Go to hell.
Me:I’m packing my bags, just promise me you won’t end up there.
Person 1: Did you just see that?!?!?!
Me: No, I wasn’t standing watching the whole time >_>.
Person 1: Whatcha reading?
Person 2: Words. Duh.
Sometimes some people need a high five.
On the head.
With a sledgehammer.
Your bae is suffering from low self-esteem, well, maybe that’s why she’s dating you.
Boy: Do you have any sense?
Girl: Ya, do you want some?
Talking to myself. Because who else will?
She: My love close your eyes and tell me what you see.
She: This is my life without you.
Me: Now close your eyes and tell me what you see.
Me: This is what I feel for you :d
You just bought an expensive gift for someone.
Person: Oh my, how did you manage to buy this for me?
Me: Well, urm I just exchanged it for a lot of money.
If I wanted to kill myself I’ll have to climb your ego and then jump to your IQ.
12 am call from a friend.
Friend: Are you asleep?
Me: Nope, I just like dancing at midnight while everyone is asleep.
Oh look?? I found your nose all up in. My damn business again!!!!
I asked God to punish me, next day I met you.
Do I get bonus points if I act like I care?
Are you sleeping?
– No, I am trying to hear what the pillow says.
Let’s share, you’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.
Yet, I didn’t understand that she was intentionally disguising her feelings with sarcasm; that was usually the last resort of people who are timid and chaste of heart, whose souls have been coarsely and impudently invaded; and who, until the last moment, refuse to yield out of pride and are afraid to express their own feelings to you.
– Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Waitress: Would you like a table?
Me: No, not at all, I came to the restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please!
Bully: And what are you going to do about it?
Me: Nothing, but if you don’t do something about that attitude, you may get stuck.
Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Girl: No. I dug my way up from hell.