Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 10
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.
The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out of 10 doctors would prescribe.
Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?
How could I possibly refuse? No thank you.
You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.
I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!
Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.
It’s your lie…tell it however you want!
Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.
You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”
How very observant of you there captain obvious.
Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.
Person: Hey you!
Person #2: Me?
Person: No, the person that’s not standing next to you!
A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?”
My response: You’re as straight as a circle.
Oh, you deleted me on Facebook. Is that your final revenge? What’s next… You throw a fruit loop at the back of my head and expect it to hurt?
B*tch at least I still remember planetary motion. The world revolves around the sun.
You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).