Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 10

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Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.

Submitted by: eeinjhel

Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.

Submitted by: Iamunknown

The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out of 10 doctors would prescribe.

Submitted by: shawnn

Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?

Submitted by: Peter

How could I possibly refuse? No thank you.

Submitted by: Marlin

You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.

Submitted by: Jared

I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!

Submitted by: kyliek

Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.

Submitted by: Unknown

It’s your lie…tell it however you want!

Submitted by: Angie Bryant

Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

Submitted by: Liz G

Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.

Submitted by: Brighton

You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”

Submitted by: Kurt

How very observant of you there captain obvious.

Submitted by: Lima Tiapula

Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.

Submitted by: whitecat

Person: Hey you!
Person #2: Me?
Person: No, the person that’s not standing next to you!

Submitted by: Name

A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?”
My response: You’re as straight as a circle.

Submitted by: Aj

Oh, you deleted me on Facebook. Is that your final revenge? What’s next… You throw a fruit loop at the back of my head and expect it to hurt?

Submitted by: Liz G

B*tch at least I still remember planetary motion. The world revolves around the sun.

Submitted by: derek dsemre

You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..

Submitted by: Chris

Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).

Submitted by: sarcasm

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