Sarcastic Quotes | Sarcasm Sayings | Sarcastic Comments - Page 11

You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..

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Some one comes to your house.
Them: Do you have a bathroom?
You: No, we just go in the back yard!

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I find it funny…
But I have forgotten how to laugh..
Damn!

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A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?”
My response: You’re as straight as a circle.

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Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.

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Sarcasm is just another free service I offer. No refunds.

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How could I possibly refuse? No thank you.

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How very observant of you there captain obvious.

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Person: Hey you!
Person #2: Me?
Person: No, the person that’s not standing next to you!

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Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.

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You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”

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Psychologist can’t fix stupid, apparently it’s not a disorder that is recognized.

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How much do you charge to haunt a house?

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Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).

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If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!

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Person 1: Can you help me do my homework?
Person 2: Sure, I can, why not.
Person 1: Well?.
Person 2: Just because I can, doesn’t mean I will.

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Person: Go to hell.
Me:I’m packing my bags, just promise me you won’t end up there.

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Me (with sincerity): Do you know what I like most about you?
You: No…what?
Me: Absolutely Nothing.

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No sh*t Sherlock!

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Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.

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