Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.

Submitted by: eeinjhel

Text : Hey, you up??!!
Text response: Nope, just fell asleep an hour ago. . .

Submitted by: OMGOSH ITS ME!

Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.

Submitted by: Ishamael

Mom: Have you picked out what you’re wearing to school tomorrow?
Me: Yeah.
Mom: What is it?
Me: Clothes!

Submitted by: Ylime Eyaf Steehs

3 A.M. Phone call… Hey are you asleep?… No I’m sky diving!

Submitted by: Dannie
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There’s a fine like between being tanned, and looking like you rolled in Doritos.

Submitted by: MCMLXXXVII

A: I hate ugly things.
B: So I’m sure that you hate mirrors.

Submitted by: Roojole

Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?

Submitted by: Peter

Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?

Submitted by: Jim

I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!

Submitted by: kyliek

Last time I checked I didn’t ask for your opinion.

Submitted by: chirs
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Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.

Submitted by: N413z

Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.

Submitted by: Unknown

Awww that`s so cute!
you actually think I care…

Submitted by: Tinker

One second…oh okay found it… Here is my cellphone, call someone who cares…

Submitted by: ThisOnesFunny

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