Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 13
I need you like a fish need a rain coat.
Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.
You’re pretty… See I can be funny too.
You : I know I’m just an ugly guy..*hoping to be praised*
Me : awwh, don’t be sad, there are many more uglier people out there..
You : ^!%!$#@$@^@**@&^@%$@
Me : =)
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?”
My response: You’re as straight as a circle.
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.
You: Go to hell.
Me: I go on vacations there.
Person 1: I’m not in the mood to hear gibberish .
Person 2 : Oh… I am ! What were you going to say ?
I don’t want to say I told you so. Because I just did.
Person 1: Is that you?!
Person 2: Nah, I’m an alien from the planet obvious.
Me: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Me: Cause your face is seriously messed up!
How could I possibly refuse? No thank you.
If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!
Sarcasm, Just another service I offer. What do you offer? stupidity?
You almost made me cry but then you left.
Me (with sincerity): Do you know what I like most about you?
Me: Absolutely Nothing.
I’m married but it’s not serious.