Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

Inside the fitting room:
Me: Hey Miss, it doesn’t fit me, do you have a larger size of this shirt?
Sales Lady: Is it for you Sir?
Me: No, its for the other guy on that room, I am wondering why I am fitting this one, can you get a larger size for him?

Submitted by: Ryan

I hear voices and even they don’t like you.!

Submitted by: kallie 123

You’re only jealous cos the voices don’t talk to you.

Submitted by: Shadowfairy1996

Women… Did you fall there Mister…
Me… Na I was trying to break a bar of toffee in my back pocket.

Submitted by: Sir Custac Cant

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
– Victor Borge

I trip and knock over a book shelf.
Random person: “Smooth.”
Me: “Thank you, I try.”

Submitted by: yasmen

Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.

Submitted by: Madison

It’s okay, my sarcasm fixes your stupidity.

Submitted by: Mimia

“Are you sarcastic?” “Well no duh!”

Shut up, will you?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?

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Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?”
Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”

Submitted by: some-tea

You’re in shape, bearing in mind that ’round’ is a shape…

Submitted by: brn

Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.

Submitted by: Xuan

Time flies by when you’re insulting people.

Submitted by: Sergaveena Mammakova

A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility.
– Lawrence G. Lovasik

Instant idiot, just add alcohol!

You’d make the perfect blueprints to build an idiot!

Submitted by: Morgan Decker

Don’t be so humble – you are not that great.
– Golda Meir

There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.

Submitted by: mommagunnaknockuOut

Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.
– Cassandra Clare

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

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