Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings

I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”

Submitted by: Carina Aly Ceara

Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

Submitted by: steph

Police pulls over a speeding car ;
COP: I’ve been waiting for you all day.
DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could.

Submitted by: levannah

Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”

Submitted by: Rhia

Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

Submitted by: Hanni

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Submitted by: PlayMisty4Me

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

Submitted by: thwhitewolff

You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.

Submitted by: Emily

Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business.

Submitted by: J smith

Sure I’ll help you out…the same way you came in.

Submitted by: Chantel

You: Go to Hell!
Me: See you there.

Submitted by: Jen

Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?

Submitted by: therandomone

Think I am sarcastic?
Watch me pretend to care!

Submitted by: Noem Miranda

My friends are so much cooler than yours.
They’re invisible.

Submitted by: he

You: I’m going to be a comedian one day!
Me: *Bursts into fits of giggles*
You: Whats so funny?
Me: *gasps* oh! you were being serious, i’m sorry.

Submitted by: Dessy

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