Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”
Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!
Police pulls over a speeding car ;
COP: I’ve been waiting for you all day.
DRIVER: Yeah well I got here as fast as I could.
Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.
Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”
Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.
You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.
I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…
Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business.
Sure I’ll help you out…the same way you came in.
You: Go to Hell!
Me: See you there.
Think I am sarcastic?
Watch me pretend to care!
Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?
My friends are so much cooler than yours.
You: I’m going to be a comedian one day!
Me: *Bursts into fits of giggles*
You: Whats so funny?
Me: *gasps* oh! you were being serious, i’m sorry.