Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 2

8

Person 1: Can you help me do my homework?
Person 2: Sure, I can, why not.
Person 1: Well?.
Person 2: Just because I can, doesn’t mean I will.

Submitted by: Kiel
14

B*tch at least I still remember planetary motion. The world revolves around the sun.

Submitted by: derek dsemre
4

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

Submitted by: shutup
13

Person: Go to hell!
Me: I must already be in Hell since you’re still standing here.

Submitted by: Nick
7

I love to hear you talk- the white noise is very relaxing.

Submitted by: nick
4

Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.

Submitted by: Sofia
4

Oh… I didn’t tell you…. Then it must be none of your business.

Submitted by: Jennifer
4

I’m not sarcastic, I’m brutally honest =).

Submitted by: Lowkeyfan
3

How much do you charge to haunt a house?

Submitted by: thomas geddes
8

Oh yea you look so pretty I can’t take it.

Submitted by: casin
5

Someone said that you didn’t have half a brain, but I defended you, I insisted that you did!

Submitted by: Richard
7

As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me!

Submitted by: Anarchy
14

Abusive Mom: Do you hate me?
Girl: No, I just wish you would get your next period in a shark tank
Abusive Dad: Do you hate me?
Girl: No, it’s just that if you were on fire I’d roast marshmallows.

Submitted by: Ryann
5

Mom: *knocks on my door*
Me: What?
Mom: Are you in there?
Me: No, I went to Narnia.

Submitted by: Aiden
7

*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.

Submitted by: FAX_and_MANG
7

Judge: How do you plead?
Me: Not guilty your honer!
Judge: What have you got to say for yourself?
Me: Isn’t being ugly against the law?

Submitted by: Prince-Flames O. M
8

Some one comes to your house.
Them: Do you have a bathroom?
You: No, we just go in the back yard!

Submitted by: 1999:) 2012:)
8

One thing I know is sarcasm is painful euphemism.
Try not to be sarcastic when you are not, it’s just as difficult as walking with your nose.
Sarcasm is a skill meant for a chosen few.

Submitted by: Victoria
6

My dad: “Is the only thing you can do is be an a$$?”
My reply: “No, I come with sarcasm 3. 0.”

Submitted by: DrWhatver
6

Person 1: Is that you?!
Person 2: Nah, I’m an alien from the planet obvious.

Submitted by: Fred 'n' George
6

If you had to choose a name for my dog! It would for sure be yours! For loyalty purposes.:)

Submitted by: Krupal
3

The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out 10 doctors would prescribe.

Submitted by: julie
7

You – “Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Me – “I’m sorry there’s a correct side to be waking up on?”
It takes patience to listen, however it takes absolute skill to pretend you’re listening.
Excuse me love, would you like a skirt to go with that belt?!

Submitted by: Leah Victoria
3

Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.

Submitted by: Xuan
1

My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…

Submitted by: Bob Longfluffy

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