Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 2

251

Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good.

Submitted by: Shawnelly
188

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

Submitted by: katsumi
156

Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

Submitted by: hachi"s girl
145

I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”

Submitted by: Carina Aly Ceara
114

Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”

Submitted by: Rhia
48

You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!

Submitted by: nichole
13

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.

Submitted by: nicolw
7

Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.

Submitted by: cheesefri
48

I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

Submitted by: Roberto
123

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Submitted by: PlayMisty4Me
84

You sound better with your mouth closed.

Submitted by: Crissy
5

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

Submitted by: shutup
24

Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…

Submitted by: maianaize
65

Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone… I realized I can do so much without you.

Submitted by: kiran
4

No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.

Submitted by: Mrs. Melissa Maxwell, AR
57

>Attempting to give a damn…
>Unable to give a damn…
>Stopping…
>Process failed!
[Damn not given]

Submitted by: jo-c
8

Oh… I didn’t tell you…. Then it must be none of your business.

Submitted by: Jennifer
88

I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.

Submitted by: NESSA
98

Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

Submitted by: Hanni
116

My friends are so much cooler than yours.
They’re invisible.

Submitted by: he
2

My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…

Submitted by: Bob Longfluffy
5

Life’s good, you should get one.

Submitted by: TTres
133

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…

Submitted by: thwhitewolff
89

Expect nothing and you’ll never be dissapointed!

Submitted by: Amanda
127

Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?

Submitted by: therandomone
21

We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.

Submitted by: Jennifer
9

I’m sorry I was talking, while you were interrupting me.

Submitted by: dmitch
36

Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”

Submitted by: Kurisutii
9

Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?

Submitted by: GumboCharlie
190

Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

Submitted by: steph

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