Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 2

21

See this hand?
It’s going to descend in an arc that will, in the process, have contact with your face. Just warning you.

Submitted by: Phuong
11

Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…

Submitted by: carlos
130

If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.

Submitted by: Rhyza
10

Sarcasm (n.) – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it…!

Submitted by: vasso
251

Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good.

Submitted by: Shawnelly
188

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

Submitted by: katsumi
25

You: OMG did you just fall.?
Me: No the ground just came up and smacked me in my face.!

Submitted by: FranklyiDontCare
8

Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.

Submitted by: cheesefri
157

Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems

Submitted by: hachi"s girl
145

I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”

Submitted by: Carina Aly Ceara
114

Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”

Submitted by: Rhia
13

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.

Submitted by: nicolw
48

You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!

Submitted by: nichole
48

I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

Submitted by: Roberto
24

Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…

Submitted by: maianaize
123

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Submitted by: PlayMisty4Me
84

You sound better with your mouth closed.

Submitted by: Crissy
65

Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone… I realized I can do so much without you.

Submitted by: kiran
5

No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.

Submitted by: Mrs. Melissa Maxwell, AR
57

>Attempting to give a damn…
>Unable to give a damn…
>Stopping…
>Process failed!
[Damn not given]

Submitted by: jo-c
88

I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.

Submitted by: NESSA
98

Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

Submitted by: Hanni
10

Oh… I didn’t tell you…. Then it must be none of your business.

Submitted by: Jennifer
116

My friends are so much cooler than yours.
They’re invisible.

Submitted by: he
9

Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?

Submitted by: GumboCharlie

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