Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 2
If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.
Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?
Sarcasm (n.) – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it…!
You: OMG did you just fall.?
Me: No the ground just came up and smacked me in my face.!
Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good.
Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.
Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.
Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems
Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…
If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”
No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.
You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!
I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…
Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.
Oh… I didn’t tell you…. Then it must be none of your business.
You sound better with your mouth closed.
Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone… I realized I can do so much without you.
>Attempting to give a damn…
>Unable to give a damn…
[Damn not given]
Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.
I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.
My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…
Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.