Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 2
Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good.
Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.
Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”
Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”
You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!
If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.
I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.
You sound better with your mouth closed.
Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.
Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…
Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone… I realized I can do so much without you.
No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.
>Attempting to give a damn…
>Unable to give a damn…
[Damn not given]
Oh… I didn’t tell you…. Then it must be none of your business.
I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.
Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.
My friends are so much cooler than yours.
My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…
Life’s good, you should get one.
I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…
Expect nothing and you’ll never be dissapointed!
Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
Student: Are you playing too?
We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.
I’m sorry I was talking, while you were interrupting me.
Sitting in the cinema
Person1: Oh My God! Did you just see that?
Person2: Nahh, I paid $12 just to stare at the freakin roof. “?”
Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?
Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!