Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 2
Find your patience before I lose mine.
If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.
You: OMG did you just fall.?
Me: No the ground just came up and smacked me in my face.!
Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…
See this hand?
It’s going to descend in an arc that will, in the process, have contact with your face. Just warning you.
Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good.
Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.
Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
“Don’t make me hit you again!”
“You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!”
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
“I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.”
Boy: “You’re not my type.”
Girl: “Why, cause I can read??”
If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!
I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.
Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.
You sound better with your mouth closed.
Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone… I realized I can do so much without you.
No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.
Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really…
>Attempting to give a damn…
>Unable to give a damn…
[Damn not given]
I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.
Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.
My friends are so much cooler than yours.
Life’s good, you should get one.
Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?