Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 3
If you had to choose a name for my dog! It would for sure be yours! For loyalty purposes.:)
The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out 10 doctors would prescribe.
You – “Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!”
Me – “I’m sorry there’s a correct side to be waking up on?”
It takes patience to listen, however it takes absolute skill to pretend you’re listening.
Excuse me love, would you like a skirt to go with that belt?!
Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.
My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…
9 more hours and I can start behaving normally again.
Life’s good, you should get one.
I find it funny…
But I have forgotten how to laugh..
Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?”
Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”
You- “oh find it funny do you?!”
Me- “hence the laughter”
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.
Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.
Be my guest and leave.
You’re not stupid; you’re just not that smart.
I’ll give you five seconds to find hell.
– Sweetie, I’m already there (:
It’s okay, my sarcasm fixes your stupidity.
And who told you you were intelligent?????
Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
3 o’clock in the morning and your best friend calls
You: HEY!! Dude I’m awake and super hyper!!!
You: Dude, are you asleep?
Me: No stupid, I’m skydiving.
Tell me about your problems again. ‘Cause I care SO much about your problems.
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
I’m told that familiarity breeds contempt … Well I feel I’ve know you forever.
I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.
You are funny, you make everyone laugh except when you joke.
You think you’re so smart?
– No, I don’t. I’m actually pretty sure.