Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.
*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!
You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.
“I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
“It’s in the phone book.”
“But I don’t know your name.”
“That’s in the phone book too.”
You’re so cool.
Any cooler and you would be me.
You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why
Person 1: Can I ask you a question?
Person 2: You just did!
Sarcasm (n.) – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it…!
If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH! I smell something
Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.
Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…
My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.
Are you really stupid or you are just pretending?
Oh… I didn’t tell you…. Then it must be none of your business.
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”
3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!
Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
Hey! I had a shoes like those once, then my father got a job.
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
Don’t argue with fools, cos people from a distance can’t tell which one is you.