Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 4
You: May I see the salt please
Me: See it
Person 1: Have you heard the news?
Person 2: No, but I will if you tell me.
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
Your silence echos your thoughts.
“Why do you talk to yourself?”
“Cos I like intelligent conversation.”
So what do you want to do?…I dunno
Well that helps a lot
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Why did you commit such a crime like that? He asked “Would you rather us commit a crime a different way?”
Cool Story Bro. Tell it again, you should tell it at parties.
I’m stupid and I know it, I just don’t like people telling me this.
I had a slight headache, then you my friend, just turned it into a migraine. Thank you very much.
Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?
I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in charge? See I didn’t get the memo.
Yes I missed you, but if you come closer my aim is about to get better.
OMG, Did you feel that.. I think the world just revolved around me.. I guess you were wrong.
How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
You’re so cheap.
Yeah! & still you can’t afford me!
If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!
You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.
DAD… What do you want to be when you grow up?
KID… An adult.
Guy: Hey don’t worry I can play dumb
Woman: Play dumb? You could manage the team!
Person1- “Dude, you have a serious problem with sarcasm!!!”
Person2- “NO I DON’T… We talk every day!”
Of course I’m NOT being sarcastic!
It’s always the last place you look for it… Of course it is! Why would you keep looking if you found it?
I’m not so good at advice; may I interest you in a sarcastic reply?
Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?
Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.
No you’re not ugly.. It’s just that you’re face is few centuries out of fashion.
You: Go to hell!
Me: See you there (:
You: God. You’re so stupid!
Me: I learned from the best.
Okay…Tell me and I’ll pretend to care.
I let you know when I start to care….Check back in about five years.
Cashier: Hi can I help you?
Me: No I just stood in line for 10 minutes to say hi.
Her face makes me wanna learning boxing.
1st Person: I totally hate you!!
2nd Person: And I totally care!!
You call this fat? I call this a 1 Pack!
Your new hairstyle is truly amazing. Tell me who did it, and I’ll make them an offer they can’t refuse.
You might appear to be hard on people, but I know that deep inside there beats a heart of solid concrete.
Would you care to join me?
Why, are you coming apart?
Early to bed early to rise just means you didn’t get invited to the party.
After being cut off mid sentence:
I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?