Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 4

32

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.

Submitted by: Grouchier Marx
4

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

Submitted by: shutup
15

Person 1: You are so cool!
Person 2: Thank you! You’re not so hot yourself.

Submitted by: wolf
17

Person 1: You look great !
Person 2: Sorry ! I can’t say the same about you.
Person 1: Just do like me … Lie !

Submitted by: Cii
139

Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Submitted by: Christel
38

SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH! I smell something

Submitted by: I LOVE BOONE
8

After being cut off mid sentence:
I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Submitted by: CJ
22

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you everyday!

Submitted by: Pugbear
5

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

Submitted by: Angel Geo
15

I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.

Submitted by: Sir Custac
172

You: I’m going to be a comedian one day!
Me: *Bursts into fits of giggles*
You: Whats so funny?
Me: *gasps* oh! you were being serious, i’m sorry.

Submitted by: Dessy
92

I thought I had seen the pinnacle of stupid… Then I met you.

Submitted by: biteme
38

Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.

Submitted by: vera lemon
19

Never judge a book by its cover but always by it’s price tag.
If you want to throw your attitude I will be waiting with a baseball bat.
At times the way you choose to ignore me, I feel God is still with me.

Submitted by: Abhay
26

Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.

Submitted by: ninja
16

About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.

Submitted by: reddevil109
2

Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
- Golda Meir

2

Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.

Submitted by: Unknown
16

It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.

Submitted by: David S
17

I’m not good at giving advice…how about sarcasm?

Submitted by: stop_bing_me
27

Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.

Submitted by: michelle
75

Yawn…
oh no … Keep talking … I always YAWN when I’m interested…:)

Submitted by: Hrishi
15

You’re right, violence is not the solution; it’s just part of the equation.

Submitted by: bob
33

A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.

Submitted by: Natalis
5

Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to lie to myself and try to like you?

Submitted by: jjsnage

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