Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 4
About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.
How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
Person 1 : Watch my stuff.
Me : Why? Is it going to do a trick.
Person 1: Can I ask you a question?
Person 2: You just did!
There is a strong need for a sarcasm font.
Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH! I smell something
I don’t hate you. Its just my attitude has problems with your personality.
Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.
Person 1: You are so cool!
Person 2: Thank you! You’re not so hot yourself.
I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you everyday!
Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.
*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.
You: I’m going to be a comedian one day!
Me: *Bursts into fits of giggles*
You: Whats so funny?
Me: *gasps* oh! you were being serious, i’m sorry.
I thought I had seen the pinnacle of stupid… Then I met you.
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
– Golda Meir
Never judge a book by its cover but always by it’s price tag.
If you want to throw your attitude I will be waiting with a baseball bat.
At times the way you choose to ignore me, I feel God is still with me.
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.
I’m not good at giving advice…how about sarcasm?