Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 4

33

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.

Submitted by: Grouchier Marx
30

Person 1: Can I ask you a question?
Person 2: You just did!

Submitted by: Alisha
4

I’m not sarcastic, I’m brutally honest =).

Submitted by: Lowkeyfan
139

Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

Submitted by: Christel
39

SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH! I smell something

Submitted by: I LOVE BOONE
16

Person 1: You are so cool!
Person 2: Thank you! You’re not so hot yourself.

Submitted by: wolf
16

About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.

Submitted by: reddevil109
22

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you everyday!

Submitted by: Pugbear
10

3 A. M. Phone call
– Hey are you asleep?
– No, I was in coma thank you for rescuing me!

Submitted by: Jox_Touchdown
172

You: I’m going to be a comedian one day!
Me: *Bursts into fits of giggles*
You: Whats so funny?
Me: *gasps* oh! you were being serious, i’m sorry.

Submitted by: Dessy
92

I thought I had seen the pinnacle of stupid… Then I met you.

Submitted by: biteme
26

Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.

Submitted by: ninja
4

Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.

Submitted by: Unknown
15

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

Submitted by: Angel Geo
7

I don’t hate you. Its just my attitude has problems with your personality.

Submitted by: Bella
17

I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.

Submitted by: Sir Custac
40

Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.

Submitted by: vera lemon
20

Never judge a book by its cover but always by it’s price tag.
If you want to throw your attitude I will be waiting with a baseball bat.
At times the way you choose to ignore me, I feel God is still with me.

Submitted by: Abhay
2

Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
– Golda Meir

11

*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.

Submitted by: FAX_and_MANG
17

I’m not good at giving advice…how about sarcasm?

Submitted by: stop_bing_me
8

Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.

Submitted by: Sofia
17

It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.

Submitted by: David S
75

Yawn…
oh no … Keep talking … I always YAWN when I’m interested…:)

Submitted by: Hrishi
33

A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.

Submitted by: Natalis

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