Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 4
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.
Never judge a book by its cover but always by it’s price tag.
If you want to throw your attitude I will be waiting with a baseball bat.
At times the way you choose to ignore me, I feel God is still with me.
Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
– Golda Meir
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
I’m not good at giving advice…how about sarcasm?
It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.
*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.
oh no … Keep talking … I always YAWN when I’m interested…:)
A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.
I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
You’re right, violence is not the solution; it’s just part of the equation.
“Are you sarcastic?” “Well no duh!”
Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.
Person 1: Are you sleeping?
Person 2: Oh yes, I’m always having conversations in my sleep…
Mom: *knocks on my door*
Mom: Are you in there?
Me: No, I went to Narnia.
If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!
The movie was awesome!! My favorite part was when it ended.
Text : Hey, you up??!!
Text response: Nope, just fell asleep an hour ago. . .
I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.
If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever
Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.
He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
– Victor Borge
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and the highest form of intelligence.
You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.
There’s a fine like between being tanned, and looking like you rolled in Doritos.
We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
If you’re too open- minded, your brains will fall out.
– Lawrence Ferlinghetti
A: I hate ugly things.
B: So I’m sure that you hate mirrors.