Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 4
Person 1: Can I ask you a question?
Person 2: You just did!
You are about as useful as a white crayon.
Person 1: You are so cool!
Person 2: Thank you! You’re not so hot yourself.
Person 1: You look great !
Person 2: Sorry ! I can’t say the same about you.
Person 1: Just do like me … Lie !
Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.
SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH! I smell something
After being cut off mid sentence:
I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you everyday!
You: I’m going to be a comedian one day!
Me: *Bursts into fits of giggles*
You: Whats so funny?
Me: *gasps* oh! you were being serious, i’m sorry.
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.
I thought I had seen the pinnacle of stupid… Then I met you.
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
Never judge a book by its cover but always by it’s price tag.
If you want to throw your attitude I will be waiting with a baseball bat.
At times the way you choose to ignore me, I feel God is still with me.
Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.
Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
- Golda Meir
I’m not good at giving advice…how about sarcasm?
It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.
Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.
Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.
You’re right, violence is not the solution; it’s just part of the equation.
oh no … Keep talking … I always YAWN when I’m interested…:)
A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.