Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 4
My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.
About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.
Person 1: You are so cool!
Person 2: Thank you! You’re not so hot yourself.
How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
SSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHH! I smell something
Person 1: Can I ask you a question?
Person 2: You just did!
There is a strong need for a sarcasm font.
Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Mom: *knocks on my door*
Mom: Are you in there?
Me: No, I went to Narnia.
I don’t hate you. Its just my attitude has problems with your personality.
Don’t take yourself so seriously, no one else does.
I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you everyday!
Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.
You: I’m going to be a comedian one day!
Me: *Bursts into fits of giggles*
You: Whats so funny?
Me: *gasps* oh! you were being serious, i’m sorry.
I thought I had seen the pinnacle of stupid… Then I met you.
Never judge a book by its cover but always by it’s price tag.
If you want to throw your attitude I will be waiting with a baseball bat.
At times the way you choose to ignore me, I feel God is still with me.
Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
– Golda Meir
*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.
My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
It’s not that they’re ugly. It’s just that everybody else is better looking.