Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings
Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.
Mom: *knocks on my door*
Mom: Are you in there?
Me: No, I went to Narnia.
You are about as useful as a white crayon.
WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
Person 1: Are you watching TV on the couch?
Person 2: No, I’m sitting on the TV and watching the couch.
Life’s good, you should get one.
Person 1: You look great !
Person 2: Sorry ! I can’t say the same about you.
Person 1: Just do like me … Lie !
You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!
Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.
Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a retard.
I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you everyday!
Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?
Some say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side…I say…. Depends on where you live.
Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.
About once a year somebody will ask me “Where is the ice?”
I reply “Check the oven”.
Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.
Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and the highest form of intelligence.
I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again.
I never repeat myself.
I was stopped by a policeman and his over excited sniffer dog the other day, my dog says you are on drugs, he said…
I said, I’m not the one with a talking dog mate.
No, you don’t have to repeat yourself, … I was ignoring you the first time.
I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.