Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 5
I’m married but it’s not serious.
I just got off the phone with Satan…he told me that he has a special seat in hell with your name on it.
Me: Hey guess what I just found out!
Black guy: What?
Me: I know a black guy!
Black guy: Me too!
You: I’m Sick Of You and You’re Nonsense!
Me: Well Take Some Medicine.
You’re pretty… See I can be funny too.
I don’t want to say I told you so. Because I just did.
I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!
I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!
I wasn’t trying to insult you!! I’m just being sarcastic.
You’re almost funny.
You: May I see the salt please
Me: See it
Person 1: Have you heard the news?
Person 2: No, but I will if you tell me.
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
Your silence echos your thoughts.
“Why do you talk to yourself?”
“Cos I like intelligent conversation.”
So what do you want to do?…I dunno
Well that helps a lot
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Why did you commit such a crime like that? He asked “Would you rather us commit a crime a different way?”
Cool Story Bro. Tell it again, you should tell it at parties.
I’m stupid and I know it, I just don’t like people telling me this.
I had a slight headache, then you my friend, just turned it into a migraine. Thank you very much.
Cop pulls over a car:
Cop:Do you know why I pulled you over?
Driver: You thought I had donuts?
I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were in charge? See I didn’t get the memo.
Yes I missed you, but if you come closer my aim is about to get better.
OMG, Did you feel that.. I think the world just revolved around me.. I guess you were wrong.
How can I miss you if you won’t go away?
You’re so cheap.
Yeah! & still you can’t afford me!
If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!
You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.