Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 5

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You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.

Submitted by: aniesha

You : My dad bought me a new mirror, the old one is broken.
Me : I can see why

Submitted by: SR

Sales Clerk: Sir are you going to buy that?
Person: No, I’m just shop lifting it all the way to the cash register…

Submitted by: carlos

Are you really stupid or you are just pretending?

Submitted by: bmt

Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.

Submitted by: vera lemon

Oh… I didn’t tell you…. Then it must be none of your business.

Submitted by: Jennifer

If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.

Submitted by: nicolw

Sarcasm (n.) – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it…!

Submitted by: vasso

Person 1: Can I ask you a question?
Person 2: You just did!

Submitted by: Alisha

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.

Submitted by: Grouchier Marx

Hey! I had a shoes like those once, then my father got a job.

Submitted by: mewntx

Me- “What time is it?”
You- “There’s a clock right there.”
Me- “Did I ask you where the clock was!?”

Submitted by: Jub Jub

Mom: What did you learn in school today sweetheart?
Me: Obviously not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.

Submitted by: cheesefri

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Submitted by: dave title

*Me washing my car*
Person: Hey what’s up? Washing your car?
Me: No, I’m watering it to see if it’ll grow into a bus.

Submitted by: FAX_and_MANG

We have a love and hate relationship….. He loves me, I hate him.

Submitted by: Jennifer

Don’t argue with fools, cos people from a distance can’t tell which one is you.

Submitted by: J-rock

Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?

Submitted by: witt

I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

Sarcastic Quote: I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond...

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Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.

Submitted by: ninja

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