Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 5
I’m not good at giving advice…how about sarcasm?
oh no … Keep talking … I always YAWN when I’m interested…:)
Life’s good, you should get one.
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!
A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.
Text : Hey, you up??!!
Text response: Nope, just fell asleep an hour ago. . .
Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.
You: What are you doing?
Me: The answer to that question will be revealed from the God given thing that we call eyes.
Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?
Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.
You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.
I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
– Stephen Bishop
We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever
My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and the highest form of intelligence.
WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?
It’s your lie…tell it however you want!
Hey! I had a shoes like those once, then my father got a job.
This is my cup of care… _/ … Oh! Would you look at that, it’s empty!
Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty…
“I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
“It’s in the phone book.”
“But I don’t know your name.”
“That’s in the phone book too.”
You’re so cool.
Any cooler and you would be me.