Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 5
Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.
You’re right, violence is not the solution; it’s just part of the equation.
The movie was awesome!! My favorite part was when it ended.
“Are you sarcastic?” “Well no duh!”
Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.
Person 1: Are you sleeping?
Person 2: Oh yes, I’m always having conversations in my sleep…
If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!
Mom: *knocks on my door*
Mom: Are you in there?
Me: No, I went to Narnia.
Text : Hey, you up??!!
Text response: Nope, just fell asleep an hour ago. . .
I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.
If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever
Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.
He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
– Victor Borge
Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and the highest form of intelligence.
We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.
If you’re too open- minded, your brains will fall out.
– Lawrence Ferlinghetti
There’s a fine like between being tanned, and looking like you rolled in Doritos.
You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.
WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.
A: I hate ugly things.
B: So I’m sure that you hate mirrors.
Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty…
Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?