Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 5

20

I’m not good at giving advice…how about sarcasm?

Submitted by: stop_bing_me
78

Yawn…
oh no … Keep talking … I always YAWN when I’m interested…:)

Submitted by: Hrishi
29

Life’s good, you should get one.

Submitted by: TTres
29

If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.

Submitted by: derek dsemre
36

You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!

Submitted by: Biteme
35

A girl wearing pointed high- heeled shoes steps on someones feet
Girl: Sorry, did that hurt?
Someone: No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia why don’t you try again.

Submitted by: Natalis
20

Text : Hey, you up??!!
Text response: Nope, just fell asleep an hour ago. . .

Submitted by: OMGOSH ITS ME!
7

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

15

You: What are you doing?
Me: The answer to that question will be revealed from the God given thing that we call eyes.

Submitted by: aastha
12

Police pulls over a speeding car:
Cop: Mam, do you know why am I standing here?
Driver: Cause you got all D’s in high school?

Submitted by: Peter
11

Well, thank you. Coming from you, it means…absolutely nothing.

Submitted by: Unknown
13

You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.

Submitted by: Jared
4

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
– Stephen Bishop

3

We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.

188

If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever

Submitted by: taylor
22

My Brother: Since when is silence smart?
Me: Since you started talking…

Submitted by: Bob Longfluffy
37

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and the highest form of intelligence.

Submitted by: ProfessorChaos
41

WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

Submitted by: jo-c
7

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

86

Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?

Submitted by: magda
15

It’s your lie…tell it however you want!

Submitted by: Angie Bryant
53

Hey! I had a shoes like those once, then my father got a job.

Submitted by: mewntx
22

This is my cup of care… _/ … Oh! Would you look at that, it’s empty!

Submitted by: Lexi-Lou
158

Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty…

Submitted by: Stefana
65

“I’d like to call you. What’s your number?”
“It’s in the phone book.”
“But I don’t know your name.”
“That’s in the phone book too.”
You’re so cool.
Any cooler and you would be me.

Submitted by: mandy

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