Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 5

3

Person 1 : Was my speech good?
Person 2 : Yup but I couldn’t understand a word you were saying.

Submitted by: Xuan
17

You’re right, violence is not the solution; it’s just part of the equation.

Submitted by: bob
17

The movie was awesome!! My favorite part was when it ended.

Submitted by: Sairah
6

“Are you sarcastic?” “Well no duh!”

29

Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.

Submitted by: michelle
26

Person 1: Are you sleeping?
Person 2: Oh yes, I’m always having conversations in my sleep…

Submitted by: mimi
7

If you’re one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.

36

You: Did I wake you up?
Me: Nah I’m always awake at 3 am!

Submitted by: Biteme
8

Mom: *knocks on my door*
Me: What?
Mom: Are you in there?
Me: No, I went to Narnia.

Submitted by: Aiden
19

Text : Hey, you up??!!
Text response: Nope, just fell asleep an hour ago. . .

Submitted by: OMGOSH ITS ME!
31

I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.

Submitted by: kala
186

If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever

Submitted by: taylor
7

Nothing is more discouraging than unappreciated sarcasm.

7

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.
– Victor Borge

27

Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

Submitted by: kate
34

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, and the highest form of intelligence.

Submitted by: ProfessorChaos
3

We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.

3

If you’re too open- minded, your brains will fall out.
– Lawrence Ferlinghetti

14

There’s a fine like between being tanned, and looking like you rolled in Doritos.

Submitted by: MCMLXXXVII
9

You: I don’t understand this.
Me: Do you want me to bring a ladder?
You: A ladder for what?
Me: So you can step up to my intelligence level.

Submitted by: Jared
38

WAIT…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

Submitted by: jo-c
7

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

11

A: I hate ugly things.
B: So I’m sure that you hate mirrors.

Submitted by: Roojole
158

Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty…

Submitted by: Stefana
85

Are you always this retarded or are you making a special effort today?

Submitted by: magda

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