Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 8
Oh, I’m sorry. Were you under the impression that I value your opinion?
Women… Did you fall there Mister…
Me… Na I was trying to break a bar of toffee in my back pocket.
Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?”
Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”
You must be really clever to act so stupid all the time.
There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.
Last time I checked I didn’t ask for your opinion.
No, I’m not ignoring you…I just lost interest in what you were about to say.
You’re unique just like everyone else!
There is a fine line between fashion and circus. So where’s the tent?
Me: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Me: Cause your face is seriously messed up!
You think you’re so smart?
– No, I don’t. I’m actually pretty sure.
I’m not sleeping, I’m just checking my eyelids for holes!
Sarcasm (because punching people in the face is illegal) <3.
Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.
You’re so cheap.
Yeah! & still you can’t afford me!
Person 1: Is that you?!
Person 2: Nah, I’m an alien from the planet obvious.
3 A.M. Phone call… Hey are you asleep?… No I’m sky diving!
The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out 10 doctors would prescribe.
You’re only jealous cos the voices don’t talk to you.
“Why do you talk to yourself?”
“Cos I like intelligent conversation.”
So what do you want to do?…I dunno
Well that helps a lot
Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
Why did you commit such a crime like that? He asked “Would you rather us commit a crime a different way?”
It’s okay, my sarcasm fixes your stupidity.
No you’re not ugly.. It’s just that you’re face is few centuries out of fashion.
Inside the fitting room:
Me: Hey Miss, it doesn’t fit me, do you have a larger size of this shirt?
Sales Lady: Is it for you Sir?
Me: No, its for the other guy on that room, I am wondering why I am fitting this one, can you get a larger size for him?
So are you single?…- For you? No.
Nice top do they make them for guys?( obviously this must be asked to a guy)
(When bumping into someone you hate and haven’t seen for a while)…Five more minutes and I would have started missing you.
..statement – I am at College/ I was accepted in College…response- Oh good for you. So is it to study or to be studied?
DAD… What do you want to be when you grow up?
KID… An adult.
That sounds so cool! It’s a shame I’m not interested…
I find it funny…
But I have forgotten how to laugh..
B*tch at least I still remember planetary motion. The world revolves around the sun.
You’re pretty… See I can be funny too.
I’m not really good at giving advice, could I interest you in a sarcastic comment?