Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 8
How much do you charge to haunt a house?
Someone said that you didn’t have half a brain, but I defended you, I insisted that you did!
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!
You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..
Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
- Lenny Bruce
Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.
Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.
Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.
I love parents’ way of saying you have got a point “Don’t talk back at me!!”
Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.
Person 1: “Does this look like a face of concern?”
Person 2: “It will if I smashed it in.”
If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.
Time flies by when you’re insulting people.