Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 8
Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
Time flies by when you’re insulting people.
That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?
Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
- Lenny Bruce
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?
Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.
I love to hear you talk- the white noise is very relaxing.
You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.
How much do you charge to haunt a house?
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.
Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.
There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.
A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?
Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- Groucho Marx
The only thing to fear is fear itself and what 9 out of 10 doctors would prescribe.
I feel like we’re apart when we’re in the same room! But If you keep talking, you’ll ruin the illusion.