Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 8
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.
Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?
Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
- Lenny Bruce
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?
You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”
Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
How much do you charge to haunt a house?
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.
There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.
Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.
Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?
Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- Groucho Marx
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.