Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 8
You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..
Your silence echos your thoughts.
So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
Time flies by when you’re insulting people.
I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
- Lenny Bruce
How much do you charge to haunt a house?
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?
You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”
Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.
Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.
Someone said that you didn’t have half a brain, but I defended you, I insisted that you did!
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.
Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.
Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.
Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.
A guy asks “Do you think I’m straight?”
My response: You’re as straight as a circle.