Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 8

5

A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.

8

I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.

Submitted by: Jessica
59

Mom: You can’t have a coke now!
Kid: Why not?
Mom: Because it’s bad for you this early in the morning.
Kid: Well how does the coke know it’s morning?

Submitted by: witt
25

Text: You awake???
Reply: No didn’t you know I text in my sleep
Text back: Oh…text me when you’re awake…
5 minutes later…
Text: Are you awake yet?

Submitted by: Didget
30

Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.

Submitted by: Danielle
154

That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.

Submitted by: sslewis
41

So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?

Submitted by: ohwhatever!
4

Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.

Submitted by: Bill
6

I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
- Lenny Bruce

54

Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?

Submitted by: Munkichikin
34

Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?

Submitted by: Jim
25

You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”

Submitted by: Kurt
67

Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.

Submitted by: Kelley
3

How much do you charge to haunt a house?

Submitted by: thomas geddes
37

Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.

Submitted by: Ishamael
12

There are two things in life that are infinite:
Human stupidity and and it’s defense- >sarcasm.

Submitted by: mommagunnaknockuOut
20

Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.

Submitted by: whitecat
55

Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.

Submitted by: Mass Of Thumbs
13

Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.

Submitted by: livelaff
202

A boy is hammering nails onto the table:
Mom: What are you doing?!
The boy: Is that a trick question?

Submitted by: Darryl Parryl
10

Being hated and ignored by many, makes my life a lot more easier to handle.

Submitted by: Sigmund
15

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
- Groucho Marx

9

Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.

Submitted by: eeinjhel
30

Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.

Submitted by: N413z
6

Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.

Submitted by: Madison

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