Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 8
You: Do you think I am stupid.
Me: Its not your fault.
If had a dollar for evry smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.
I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!
So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.
That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
I love parents’ way of saying you have got a point “Don’t talk back at me!!”
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
– Oscar Wilde
You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”
Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
– Lenny Bruce
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
If I had a dollar for every smart thing you said…wait no, then I’d be in debt!
Your silence echos your thoughts.
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
Me: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
Me: Cause your face is seriously messed up!
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).
Tell me what gave you the impression that I actually care, so I can avoid it next time.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Groucho Marx