Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 8
You’re pretty… See I can be funny too.
Oh, you deleted me on Facebook. Is that your final revenge? What’s next… You throw a fruit loop at the back of my head and expect it to hurt?
That sounds so cool! It’s a shame I’m not interested…
There is a fine line between fashion and circus. So where’s the tent?
I am not bad. I am just dangerously awful.
So it seems a certain person believes that I have a problem with sarcasm. Well thank you Captain Obvious for that startling revelation!
I don’t want to say I told you so. Because I just did.
I don’t know what you’re problem is. . . But I’m pretty sure it’s hard to pronounce.
You call this fat? I call this a 1 Pack!
I need you like a fish need a rain coat.
I’m not really good at giving advice, could I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
Oh I’m sorry, I’m not really good at acting like I care!
Inside the fitting room:
Me: Hey Miss, it doesn’t fit me, do you have a larger size of this shirt?
Sales Lady: Is it for you Sir?
Me: No, its for the other guy on that room, I am wondering why I am fitting this one, can you get a larger size for him?
I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
Just in case you haven’t noticed, you are ugly both mentally and physically. Other than that? You are totally fine!
I hear voices and even they don’t like you.!
Person: Hey you!
Person #2: Me?
Person: No, the person that’s not standing next to you!
And who told you you were intelligent?????
3 o’clock in the morning and your best friend calls
You: HEY!! Dude I’m awake and super hyper!!!
You: Dude, are you asleep?
Me: No stupid, I’m skydiving.
You: “what are you wearing to the halloween party?”
Me: ” I don’t know.”
You: “We should go as each other!”
Me: “Fine with me . . . At least I’ll win the scariest costume award.”
DAD… What do you want to be when you grow up?
KID… An adult.
Sorry, my fist meant to caress your face.
I’m married but it’s not serious.
One second…oh okay found it… Here is my cellphone, call someone who cares…
Are you going to school tomorrow?
Nah, I’m riding my unicorn to Mars instead.
Some say the grass isn’t always greener on the other side…I say…. Depends on where you live.
B*tch at least I still remember planetary motion. The world revolves around the sun.
Person 1: I’m not in the mood to hear gibberish .
Person 2 : Oh… I am ! What were you going to say ?
You are funny, you make everyone laugh except when you joke.
As a matter of fact, the whole world does revolve around me!
Woman 1 – Do you like my new jeans?
Woman 2 – wow yes… Do they come in women sizes?
You have one foot in your mouth already. You should probably try for a second.
Go to hell!
Okay, I will come to visit you
I trip and knock over a book shelf.
Random person: “Smooth.”
Me: “Thank you, I try.”
Awww that`s so cute!
you actually think I care…