Sarcastic Quotes, Sarcasm Sayings - Page 8
A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.
Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.
So did you choose today to humiliate yourself in public?
Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
I’m sorry. I couldn’t see a person behind that giant ego.
I must be psychic. I predicted you’d be an idiot.
Don’t blame yourself. Let me do it.
I failed my spelling test. The teacher said “Idiot” and I put your name down.
That’s a pretty dress…too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.
He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
– Oscar Wilde
Teacher asked why are you late?
Student: Because I didn’t come in early.
I’ll be a millionaire once I’m done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the Internet!
Person 1: Wow, I can’t play guitar as good as you do.
Person 2: Really?
Person 1: Yes, no matter how hard I try, I always play it better than you.
You: Where Are You Going?
Me: Somewhere You’re Not..
You: “Are you kidding me?”
Me: “Yes, I’m serious”
I won’t say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner.We used to write essays like: What I’m going to be if I grow up.
– Lenny Bruce
Nice shoes, how long did the doctor say you had to were them?
Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?
Tact is for people not witty enough to be sarcastic.
Oh yeah, the louder you yell, the more right you are.
Turn off the lights…you look better that way.
Awkward moment – When your sarcasm is so advanced it makes you look stupid.
I’m sorry. My fault. I forgot you were an idiot.
Not many people can listen to you and survive. I should be getting an award.
Your silence echos your thoughts.
Someone said that you didn’t have half a brain, but I defended you, I insisted that you did!
Sending Postcards From A Plane Crash (Wish You Were Here).
Just because people don’t understand you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
– Groucho Marx
Time flies when I’m with you… Well, it’s because I zone out mostly.