A drunk mind speaks TRULY…!
I don’t have a drinking problem. I’m just really thirsty.
No one respects age unless it’s bottled.
Who is this moderation I am supposed to be drinking with?
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking. – Dave Barry
Half drunk is waste of money.
Yes, I have a drinking problem, which is only solved by drinking.
A drunken mind, speaks a sober heart.
Beer… Because it makes me feel good and you look better.
Blondes have more fun, but redheads remember it the next day
And then alcohol said “Put that on Facebook, it’s hilarious”. But alcohol was wrong, so very wrong.
If you want to know the truth about you, you get drunk or get other people drunk.
Beer makes you feel the way you should feel without beer.
Let ethanol make you more interesting.
I was sober, but then I woke up
I’m not drunk I’m just holding onto your lawn so I don’t fall of the earth.
If I don’t drink and drive, how will I get home?
Dear Alcohol – You’ve always been there for me, you wipe my memory when I’m sad, you make that girl down the hall look rad, you landed me in jail twice, but were there when I got bailed out ready on ice, you are taking away the worthless years of my life, killing my liver and helping me ignore my wife. Without you life is an endless road, a life better with sober people is such a load, we both know, in the end, we will be together. So pour me a shot, kick it with beer, lets have another amazing night, it’s only us here.
5 Rules of Alcohol 1. Open bar is a dangerous game. Respect it. 2. Vodka can be mixed up with anything. Even more vodka. 3. Tequila changes people. 4. If you do something really stupid, never say that you are drunk. Unless you’re not. 5. If he/she’s still ugly after the 7th beer, give up.
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