I don’t drink anymore. I don’t drink any less either.
People drink to get rid of the pain they are going through. Some drink and hope when they close their eye that they will never be awake to feel the pain.
Tequila… Making ugly men look good since the 16th century.
Alcohol – Because no great story every started with someone eating a salad.
I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink two times a year. On my birthday and when it’s not my birthday.
If water is the universal solvent, then beer is the universal solution!
Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time. – Catherine Zandonella
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, neither does the milk.
If you start talking to the beer bottle you’re drunk, if the beer bottle talks back you’re WASTED!
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes & dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, ‘It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than to be selfish and worry about my liver.’ – Jack Handey
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Listen, I’m not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I’m a drunk, we go to parties.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me. – Hunter S. Thompson
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. – W. C. Fields
The whole world is about three drinks behind. – Humphrey Bogart
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
I have a drinking problem… I can’t find my beer.
Make it a night you won’t forget, not one you can’t remember.
Yea I Have a drinking problem. 2 hands 1 mouth no beer!!!!!!
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