Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!

Submitted by: nuttha on July 28, 2010

Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

Submitted by: Bella on April 13, 2010

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.

Submitted by: Giselle on December 11, 2007

You’re birthday reminds me of the old Chinese scholar….. Yung No Mo

Submitted by: dana on November 28, 2009

Act your age not your shoe size.

Submitted by: Babee 'x on May 4, 2010

I didn’t forget your birthday, I just forgot today’s date!

Submitted by: rayne kent on August 4, 2009

You think you are special JUST because it’s your birthday today…No way you’re special every day!!!

Submitted by: Jaw-Din on September 16, 2008

How do you expect me to remember your birthday, when you never look any older? Happy birthday!

Submitted by: Silly-Me! on November 11, 2008

I was gonna give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.

Submitted by: XxRobertxX on May 1, 2010

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!

Submitted by: Allison on October 10, 2009

That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look.

I can’t believe you’re almost 18. You’ll be able to go to jail!

Submitted by: jenne petell on September 23, 2009

Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!

Submitted by: Melissa on September 18, 2009

At 42 just think of it as being your 2nd 21st birthday.

Submitted by: jossyboy on September 6, 2012

Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.

Submitted by: Angela on August 16, 2011

If you want to look young and thin on your birthday. Hang around a bunch of old fat people.

Submitted by: Anthony on June 19, 2012

So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.

Submitted by: Claire on October 24, 2009

Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: marcel on February 7, 2011

It has been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will kill you.

Submitted by: someone on July 31, 2011

Something to remember on your birthday..Forget the past, it can’t be changed..And, forget the present because I didn’t get you one.

Submitted by: Brian Jones on June 17, 2011

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

That awkward moment when it’s your birthday and everyone is singing “Happy birthday to you” and you just stand there clueless of what to say.

Submitted by: Anika on July 31, 2012

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Submitted by: Roger on January 6, 2012

Forget the past, you can’t change.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!

Happy Birthday!


When asked how old I am I reply, “Old enough to know better, and young enough to do it again!”

Submitted by: June on July 14, 2011

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half… Forget that, after I finally learned to talk, my parents were telling me to shut up.

Submitted by: An Alien on April 23, 2011

I’m not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.

Submitted by: stranger on September 17, 2011

Of course you’re not old! You aren’t very young either.

Submitted by: Awesomeee!! on July 18, 2011

When you are over the hill you pick up speed!

Submitted by: Bruce K on June 29, 2010

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