Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Two elderly men are sitting on a bench outside a retirment home and one says, “Ted I am 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age how do you feel?”
Ted says “I feel like a newborn baby!”
“Really? like a newborn baby?”
“Yep no hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants!”

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Two elderly men are sitting on a...

Submitted by: Bella on April 13, 2010
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Forget about the past, you can’t change it,
Forget about the future, you can’t predict it,
Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Forget about the past, you can’t change...

Submitted by: nuttha on July 28, 2010
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional.
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Growing old is mandatory but growing up...

Submitted by: Giselle on December 11, 2007
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Act your age not your shoe size.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Act your age not your shoe size.

Submitted by: Babee 'x on May 4, 2010
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience!
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22...

Submitted by: Allison on October 10, 2009
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: That awkward moment when people are singing...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Old enough to know better…Young enough to still do it.
Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Old enough to know better…Young enough to...

Submitted by: Angela on August 16, 2011
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL
Advertisements

So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: So far, this is the oldest I’ve...

Submitted by: Claire on October 24, 2009
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Every once in a while, special people are put on this earth. People with deep passion, immense love for others. People with hearts much greater than average, and today, one of them would like to wish you a happy birthday.
Happy Birthday.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Every once in a while, special people...

Submitted by: marcel on February 7, 2011
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: It is scientifically proven that people who...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Birthdays are good for your health. Studies...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me! I want people to know WHY I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Some people try to turn back their...

Submitted by: Roger on January 6, 2012
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Forget the past, you can’t change.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!

Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Forget the past, you can’t change. Forget...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Just remember, once you’re over the hill...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: You know you are getting old when...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL
Advertisements

They say love is all you need…
So I forgot to buy a birthday present.
Happy Birthday!

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: They say love is all you need…...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Year = Drinks
Valentines = Sex
Birthday = All Of The Above

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Halloween = Candy Thanksgiving = Food Christmas...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: A diplomat is a man who always...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty- five for years.
Oscar Wilde

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Thirty five is a very attractive age;...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: When I was younger, I could remember...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
Phyllis Diller

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: I’m at an age when my back...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
Robert Frost

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Time and Tide wait for no man,...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Samuel Johnson

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: The return of my birthday, if I...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Erma Bombeck

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: A friend never defends a husband who...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
Robert Orben

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: The best birthdays of all are those...

HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL
Advertisements

Old age is when you reverse your car from your driveway into your neighbor’s swimming pool across the road and believe it was the car’s fault and not yours.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: Old age is when you reverse your...

Submitted by: Billy Lomas on October 16, 2011
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

The older you get the bolder you get.

Funny Birthday Quotes Quote: The older you get the bolder you...

Submitted by: sufyanj on June 4, 2012
HTML Code
Forum BB Code
Image URL

Submit A Quote




Copyright © 2006-2018 - All rights reserved. Home | Blog | Contact Us | FAQ | Privacy Policy | Submit A Quote