Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

Happy Birthday! Just another year closer to being that crazy cat lady…

It’s never too late to be what you want to be..unless you want to be younger, then you’re screwed.

They are not grey hairs! They are my wisdom highlights! I just happen to be extremely wise!

You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, “See if you can blow this out”.
Jerry Seinfeld

That awkward moment when people are singing Happy Birthday to you and you have no idea where to look.


Birthdays are good for your health. Studies show those who have more Birthdays live longer.

I was gonna make you a rum cake but now it’s just a cake and I’m drunk.

Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Year = Drinks
Valentines = Sex
Birthday = All Of The Above

They say love is all you need…
So I forgot to buy a birthday present.
Happy Birthday!

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake!

Forget the past, you can’t change.
Forget the future, you can’t predict it.
Forget the present, I didn’t get you one!

Happy Birthday!


Hey I’m not saying you’re old… I’m just saying that if you were milk I’d smell you before I poured you on my cereal.

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

M. I. C. K. E. Y. U. R. O. L. D.

Submitted by: Clair Leavitt on May 12, 2013

Over the hill. Never, just on top enjoying the view.

Submitted by: Letitia on April 12, 2013

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