Funny Birthday Quotes and Sayings

At least you’re not as old as you will be next year! Happy birthday!!!

Submitted by: Mike C. on September 7, 2012

I’m just here for the cake.

Submitted by: *nacho comment* on November 4, 2010

Birthdays are like boogers the more you have the harder it is to breath.

Submitted by: b :) on March 2, 2012

It’s better to be over the hill than 6 feet under it!

Submitted by: James on April 1, 2011

You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired.

Submitted by: melissa on June 23, 2011

Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

The best way of staying young is lying about your age.

Submitted by: 2she on August 31, 2010

Age doesn’t matter unless you’re a cheese.

Submitted by: Hanz on July 22, 2010

Birthdays are like girlfriends, they come and go- unless you enjoy them.

Submitted by: Thomas B. on April 22, 2009

You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Bob Hope

They say love is all you need…
So I forgot to buy a birthday present.
Happy Birthday!

Halloween = Candy
Thanksgiving = Food
Christmas = Gifts
New Year = Drinks
Valentines = Sex
Birthday = All Of The Above

Do you know why old men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: Susan on April 11, 2013

A toast to you! May you live to be as old as you look!

Submitted by: Bymyfriend Harvey on January 15, 2011

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
Robert Frost


Happiness is like peeing in your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. And that’s what you feel today. Happy Birthday.

Submitted by: Dasha on June 10, 2012

I was gonna make you a rum cake but now it’s just a cake and I’m drunk.

Hey I’m not saying you’re old… I’m just saying that if you were milk I’d smell you before I poured you on my cereal.

Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake!

A birthday is just another 365 days around the sun. Enjoy the trip.

Submitted by: Girlzilla on March 17, 2010

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
– Gracie Allen

Inside every older person is a younger person – wondering what the hell happened.
– Jennifer Yane

Age is a number and mine is unlisted.

Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty- five for years.
Oscar Wilde

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I’d doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I’m five I’ll be 64.


A man is getting old when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
– R. C. Ferguson

Happy Birthday, have fun and just remember you’re only as young as you look so therefore you better have as much fun as you can and quick!

Submitted by: tiamaria on December 21, 2009

Smile, it could be worse…think about what you’ll look like in ten years. Happy Birthday.

For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
– John Glenn

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain

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