Funny Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a relationship in which one...

Submitted by: Prady on January 22, 2013
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: We always hold hands. If I let...

Submitted by: Nabil on November 4, 2009
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Husband is the HEAD of the family and wife is the NECK that turns the head around!!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Husband is the HEAD of the family...

Submitted by: payal on August 9, 2013
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You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: You know… There is a name for...

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Marriage is when a man looses his bachelors degree and woman gets her masters degree.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is when a man looses his...

Submitted by: ramakochhar on September 28, 2013
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My hubby may wear the pants in our family but I control the zipper!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: My hubby may wear the pants in...

Submitted by: harleyrose_80 on September 21, 2007
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My wife and I always compromise. I admit I am wrong and she agrees with me. :)

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: My wife and I always compromise. I...

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Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia?
The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Why are wives more dangerous than the...

Submitted by: Amrik Singh on December 1, 2010
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A marriage license is a license which allows a woman to drive a man!
WHEN YOU SAY “I DO” , “YOU’RE DONE”!
A wife’s view point! “What’s “hers is hers”! And “What’s yours is hers also”!
Remember! If she ain’t happy, you ain’t happy either!
When I said, “I DO”! She said, “OH NO YOU DON’T”!
If my wife ran the world ,there wouldn’t be any wars… But there wouldn’t be any peace either!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: A marriage license is a license which...

Submitted by: Earl Jones on January 20, 2009
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When I married Ms Right, I didn’t know her first name was “Always” !

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: When I married Ms Right, I didn’t...

Submitted by: John on July 31, 2010
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Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is just fancy word to adopt...

Submitted by: SOSY on September 22, 2013
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Some remain single and make wonders happen.
Some have boyfriends and see wonders happen.
The rest get married and wonder what happened.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Some remain single and make wonders happen....

Submitted by: Alex on January 16, 2011
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The only time my wife is listening to me is when I’m saying do you want some money.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: The only time my wife is listening...

Submitted by: Freddy on April 8, 2010
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A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: A woman worries about the future until...

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Marriage is like a deck of cards. All you need in the beginning is two hearts and a diamond. After 10 years you need a club and spade.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is like a deck of cards....

Submitted by: Carrie on June 6, 2011
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The only moment that my wife listens to me is when I’m talking in my sleep.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: The only moment that my wife listens...

Submitted by: stephen on February 6, 2010
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Funniest contradicting phrases:
1.Clearly misunderstood
2.Exact estimate
3.Small crowd
4.Act naturally
5.Found missing
6.Fully empty
7.Happily married

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Funniest contradicting phrases: 1.Clearly misunderstood 2.Exact estimate...

Submitted by: Alex on January 16, 2011
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Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is when a man and woman...

Submitted by: Jack on May 12, 2010
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A man marries a woman hoping she would never change, a woman marries a man thinking that she can change him.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: A man marries a woman hoping she...

Submitted by: K.R on March 31, 2013
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Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised...

Submitted by: nancy saliba on November 22, 2009
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African proverb: He who marries a beautiful wife and he who plants corn by the roadside all have the same problem; insecurity.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: African proverb: He who marries a beautiful...

Submitted by: Nii ofori on August 4, 2009
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Love is one long sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Love is one long sweet dream and...

Submitted by: Zeenat Essa on February 14, 2009
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Marriage is a workshop…where husband works & wife shops.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriage is a workshop…where husband works &...

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Make love and not war
Or, find someone, marry them
And you can do both!

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Make love and not war Or, find...

Submitted by: Paul Finkleman (the haikumedian) on January 11, 2013
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Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Clint Eastwood

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriages are made in heaven. But so...

Submitted by: Mr.QuiLnet on April 15, 2008
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Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not.
– Albert Einstein

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Women marry men hoping they will change....

Submitted by: Jake on June 21, 2010
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Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear! Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Wife: honey I want you to whisper...

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I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: I love being married. It’s so great...

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Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and you’re sorry.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Always remember: she’s right, you’re wrong, and...

Submitted by: Jamie K. on January 5, 2013
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Marriages are made in heaven. But, then again, so are thunder, lightening, tornadoes and hail.

Funny Marriage Quotes Quote: Marriages are made in heaven. But, then...

Submitted by: supriya on June 1, 2010
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