Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

Coffee, Chocolate, Men. The richer the better!

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Coffee, Chocolate, Men. The richer the better!

Submitted by: debbie on January 7, 2008
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A man woke up in the morning with a headache and saw a rose, an Aspirin, water and a note on the bed side table written on it: “Breakfast is on the table I am off to the store”.
When he went down stairs he saw his son and asked him what happened last night.
His son said “Well you came home drunk and when mom tried to kiss you, you yelled “Get off me lady I am married!”
Getting drunk: $65
Calling a cab when you’re too drunk: $21.50.
Saying the right things at the right time: Priceless.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: A man woke up in the morning...

Submitted by: MiseryinMakeup on February 22, 2008
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I never understood why we call men “pigs” and “dogs”…pigs are smart and dogs are loyal.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: I never understood why we call men...

Submitted by: Corilayn on January 21, 2011
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Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Here’s all you have to know about...

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Men are like chocolate bars…they’re sweet and smooth but head straight for your hips.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Men are like chocolate bars…they’re sweet and...

Submitted by: lucie stone on January 18, 2008
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Men are like parking spaces; The good ones are taken and the only ones left are handicapped.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Men are like parking spaces; The good...

Submitted by: admin on December 12, 2012
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While creating men, God promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world, then He made the earth round.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: While creating men, God promised women that...

Submitted by: Jessica! on March 31, 2013
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Menopause, menstrual cramps, mental illness, mental breakdowns…ever notice that all of your problems begin with men?

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Menopause, menstrual cramps, mental illness, mental breakdowns…ever...

Submitted by: Kaylaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa on March 21, 2011
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You know… There is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time… Husband!!!
Bill Maher

Funny Men Quotes Quote: You know… There is a name for...

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The ideal man goes home early, doesn’t flirt, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t gamble and doesn’t exist.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: The ideal man goes home early, doesn’t...

Submitted by: Monica Louise on October 26, 2010
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So many men so little asprin.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: So many men so little asprin.

Submitted by: Jóna on September 13, 2007
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MEN ARE LIKE BUSES… IF YOU MISS ONE ANOTHER ONE WILL BE COMING IN 5 MINUTES.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: MEN ARE LIKE BUSES… IF YOU MISS...

Submitted by: JoeAnn on April 18, 2008
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Men are like trees, they take forever to grow up.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Men are like trees, they take forever...

Submitted by: Madisoneats pickles on March 2, 2013
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Men are the head of the family , Women are the neck ,they can turn the head wherever they please.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Men are the head of the family...

Submitted by: umut on July 22, 2009
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Men are like commercials, you can’t believe a word they say.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Men are like commercials, you can’t believe...

Submitted by: Tandy on November 26, 2012
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When you see a homeless man, feel no pity. He should have listened to his wife.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: When you see a homeless man, feel...

Submitted by: Brooke on June 17, 2009
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The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs…

Funny Men Quotes Quote: The more I see of men, the...

Submitted by: Moi on March 26, 2010
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Little girls grow up to be ladies…Little boys grow up to be big boys

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Little girls grow up to be ladies…Little...

Submitted by: frosty on February 25, 2009
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There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy…like nailing jelly to a tree for example.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: There are easier things in life than...

Submitted by: 100%Moi!!!! on March 26, 2010
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The only difference between men and boys are the size of their shoes and the price of their toys.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: The only difference between men and boys...

Submitted by: mary ann rising on October 22, 2009
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What do men and clouds have in common???… When both are not around its a nice day!

Funny Men Quotes Quote: What do men and clouds have in...

Submitted by: Only meeeeeeee on December 29, 2008
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Always remember:
When SHE cancels a date, it is because..
“She has to.”
But
When HE cancels a date, it is because..
“He has two.”

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Always remember: When SHE cancels a date,...

Submitted by: rodger on July 27, 2011
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Men only have two faults, everything they say and everything they do.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Men only have two faults, everything they...

Submitted by: talia shire on August 8, 2010
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Women would rather be beautiful than smart only because men can see way better than they can think.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Women would rather be beautiful than smart...

Submitted by: b breezy on June 10, 2010
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Men are from Earth, women are from...

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Always go for a beautiful, intelligent & loving boy. But make sure the three boys don’t meet each other.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Always go for a beautiful, intelligent &...

Submitted by: Anjuu on January 13, 2011
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Don’t trust a man who offers you the moon and the stars… Cause God knows his arms can’t reach that far.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: Don’t trust a man who offers you...

Submitted by: eve on January 14, 2011
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One day a man asked a genie to make him smarter than any other man on earth. The genie turned him into a woman.

Funny Men Quotes Quote: One day a man asked a genie...

Submitted by: brooke on July 17, 2011
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A husband is someone who after taking the trash out gives the impression he’s cleaned the whole house!

Funny Men Quotes Quote: A husband is someone who after taking...

Submitted by: lynelle on November 1, 2011
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There are three types of men in the world.
Men that are dominated by women and know it.
Men that are dominated by women and don’t know it.
And bachelors!!

Funny Men Quotes Quote: There are three types of men in...

Submitted by: Crash on September 30, 2010
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