Funny Women Quotes and Sayings

Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
George Carlin

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Here’s all you have to know about...

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A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: A jealous woman does better research than...

Submitted by: Ronak on June 25, 2013
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: We always hold hands. If I let...

Submitted by: Nabil on November 4, 2009
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You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and out the other.
Tell a woman something, it goes in both ears and comes out through the mouth..

Funny Women Quotes Quote: You tell a man something, it goes...

Submitted by: ANON on July 19, 2013
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A woman has only 2 problems. 1. Nothing to wear. 2. No room for all the clothes.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: A woman has only 2 problems. 1....

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Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Women get the last word in every...

Submitted by: zora on September 15, 2011
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Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.
George Carlin

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Men are from Earth, women are from...

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When a women says “What?”, it’s not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: When a women says “What?”, it’s not...

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Women are like police, they can have all the evidence in the world but they still want a confession.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Women are like police, they can have...

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Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
Bill Cosby

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Women don’t want to hear what you...

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Why are girls?

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Why are girls?

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You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Chris Rock

Funny Women Quotes Quote: You cannot win in a fight against...

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Someday they’re going to call me “M’am” without adding “You’re making a scene”.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Someday they’re going to call me “M’am”...

Submitted by: sandra blackburn on January 1, 2013
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Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
Chris Rock

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Only a woman can make you feel...

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You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if they’re placed around your throat she’s probably slightly upset.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: You can tell a lot about a...

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For all men who say ‘A woman’s place is in the kitchen’ remember that’s where the knives are kept.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: For all men who say ‘A woman’s...

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Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Despite my thirty years of research into...

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One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.
Edgar Watson Howe

Funny Women Quotes Quote: One of the most difficult things in...

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I’ll never understand why once a month, women go completely crazy for 30 days.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: I’ll never understand why once a month,...

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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Some women hold up dresses that are...

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When women go wrong, men go right after them.
Mae West

Funny Women Quotes Quote: When women go wrong, men go right...

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What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.
Lord Byron

Funny Women Quotes Quote: What a strange thing man is; and...

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It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass.
Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Women Quotes Quote: It’s tough to stay married. My wife...

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Why did god create men first?
He didn’t want to be coached on how to make him.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Why did god create men first? He...

Submitted by: missportiap on December 4, 2011
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There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
Chris Rock

Funny Women Quotes Quote: There are only three things women need...

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Two most deadly weapons in the world: Women’s nagging and Women’s tears! Can make any man act like a tortoise, right into the shell. Don’t believe me, try it…he he he:P

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Two most deadly weapons in the world:...

Submitted by: Ashish Mittal on December 14, 2011
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and a three-dollar pantyhose that won’t run.
Phyllis Diller

Funny Women Quotes Quote: Women want men, careers, money, children, friends,...

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I don’t think women are better than men, but I do think that men are worse than women.
Louis C.K.

Funny Women Quotes Quote: I don’t think women are better than...

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If you see a nice man with great personality, good dressings, nice and high morals and character. What you call him?
Yes, a gentle man!
Have you ever meet a gentle woman???

Funny Women Quotes Quote: If you see a nice man with...

Submitted by: Arshad malik on July 14, 2011
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No one can argue any longer about the rights of women. It’s like arguing about earthquakes.
– Lillian Hellman

Funny Women Quotes Quote: No one can argue any longer about...

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