Short Funny Quotes

My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.

Submitted by: dave title

Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.

Submitted by: Tina

Old age dosen’t make you forget.
Its all the stupid stuff you try to remember

Submitted by: brianne&&cassie ann

Don’t believe any rumor until the government denies it.

Submitted by: Bonface stom

If the stuff that comes out of my mouth upsets you, just think of all the things I keep to myself.


Forget the dog! Beware of kids!

Submitted by: Susan (14 years old)

Math teacher: I have 5 bottles in one hand, and 6 in the other. What do I have? Student: A drinking problem.

Energiser bunny arrested: charged with battery.

Submitted by: Nicked

Some Are Called Brave Because They Afraid to Run…

Submitted by: Selva

I know I’m in my own little world..but it’s ok..they know me here!

Submitted by: melissa

I scored high on my drug test.

Submitted by: Manny

When the short people attack you, you won’t see them coming.
I didn’t trip; I was testing gravity. It still works.

Submitted by: SUmmy

I would agree with you if you were right

Submitted by: cmd

Dogs think: People love me, feed me, pet me, they must be God.
Cats think: People love me, feed me, pet me, I must be God.

Submitted by: Jenny

The future just ain’t what it used to be.

Submitted by: Rockymtnguy

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