Facebook Status Quotes
Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think i’m trippin? Tie my shoes. Can’t stand me? Sit back down. Can’t face me? Turn around.
Facebook should have a “no one cares” button.
My ex girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. So I poked her.
This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.
I’d really post your name here every minute if facebook keeps on asking me what’s on my mind.
Delete me , Poke me, Like me, Limit me ..The choice is yours.. Welcome to facebook, where no one is really your friend. =P
If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”.
Girl: Why do you constantly keep posting my name as your Facebook status every 2 minutes?
Boy: Facebook keeps asking me what’s on my mind? And honestly, it’s always you.
Roses are red, Facebook is blue, No mutual friends, Who the hell are you?
Being nice to people you don’t like is not being two faced, it is called growing up.
…did a lot of nothing yesterday, but I didn’t finish, so I’m going to do it again today!
The kids next door challenged me to a water balloon fight. I’m just updating my status while waiting for the water to boil.
…It’s Not That I Hate You… But Let’s Put It This Way If You Were On Fire And I Had A Gallon Of Water I’d Drink It.
Sometimes I wish life was like facebook, you can delete anyone off your page and go back and delete everything you have said and done!
My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update as the search bar.
I’d rather check my Facebook than face my check book.
I intend to live forever, or die trying.
- Groucho Marx
Facebook is like prison, you write on walls and get poked bu people you don’t know.
Adding you as my friend doesn’t mean I like you, I did it just to increase my friend list.
I should change my name to No One, that way when I request you as a friend it will say “No One wants to be your friend”.
Single isn’t a status. It’s a word that describes a person who is strong enough to enjoy life without having to depend on someone else.
No matter what anyone says, my cooking is excellent, even the smoke alarm seems to be cheering me on!
Weather forecast for tonight: Dark with a chance of tomorrow in the morning.
Your intelligence is my common sense.
As Facebook has a “Poke” button, it should have a “Kick” button as well.