Facebook Status Quotes

I’m lost. I’ve gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait.

I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.

The question isn’t ‘what do we want to know about people?’, It’s,’What do people want to tell about themselves?
Mark Zuckerberg

Helping a billion people connect is amazing, humbling and by fare the thing I am most proud of in my life.
Mark Zuckerberg

Truth be told, if you say you are not an objector, you are ranged against democracy. If you have a different point of view, say you are a dissenter. Post ten things on Facebook daily and say openly, ‘Yes, I have a difference of opinion.’ Being an objector is no crime.
Ravish Kumar

I’m pretty but my double chins are prettier.

After smoking weed he went to coca cola to buy beer.

My life, my rules, so keep your nose out of my business.

Did you know that Facebook can lie sometimes ?
Seriously how can someone be sick with 22 others.

Yeah you – the one reading my status, get lost!

If you wanna know who read your words attentively, leave mistakes in status.

Single is not a status. It is a word that best describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.

Say it to my face, not through your status!

If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!

I log out from FB. Reason: I am bored.
After 5 min I signed in. Reason: I am bored.

If you see me smiling in public, it means I’m laughing at the jokes I tell myself in my head

My ex girlfriend’s status said suicidal and standing on the edge. So I poked her.

Facebook should have a “no one cares” button.

I wish that I could put my status to what I am really thinking.

Don’t piss me off then tell me to calm down, that’s like stabbing someone and then asking why they’re bleeding.

Annoying moment when two people start a conversation on your Facebook status.

Women are a strange breed.
They paint their lips;
Show off their inner-wear;
Flaunt their bodies;
Wear butt-hugging jeans;
And then they expect men to notice their emotions!

Living reality
Not a Facebook fantasy
Like others
Be yourself
Quit acting like someone else.

If your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” then you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single”.

I’ll change my gender to ‘female’ and my name to ‘Linda’. So when I post an update, people will rush to like them.

If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat.

There are two types of human beings found on Facebook.
One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts.
And the others are men.

That awkward moment when you change your Facebook status to ‘single’ and your ex likes it.

Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That’ll teach ’em not to f*** with you.

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