Love makes the world go round. Alcohol makes it go twice as fast.
I’m not drunk, I’m just exhausted from drinking all night.
The Surgeon General advises that smoking is bad for your health,that’s why I drink.
In the eye of a drunk, no one is ugly.
Now I lay me down to sleep with a vodka bottle at my feet. If I die before I wake. Tell my friends I drank it straight.
I don’t get drunk, I get AWESOME!!
It does not matter if the glass is half empty or half full, clearly there’s room for more alcohol.
Alcohol does not make you fat – it makes you lean… Against tables, chairs, floors, and ugly people.
“Wine is a grand thing,” I said. “It makes you forget all the bad.” – Ernest Hemingway
I get a lot more from alcohol than alcohol gets from me.
Drink like a fish. Smoke like a chimney.. Tomorrow is another day..
Only when you are drunk can your true creative side be seen.
She has many rare and charming qualities, but Sobriety is not one of them. – Jane Austen
The privilege of drinking with friends is that, we can talk nonsense all the time… & the best thing is that nonsense is understood, discussed & respected… Cheers !!!
I’m very serious about no alcohol, no drugs. Life is too beautiful. – Jim Carrey
Boss. Sorry I can’t come to work today. I woke up this morning and hurt my hand trying to get the cap off my breakfast!
I have come to the conclusion that the solution to all of life’s problems can’t be found at the bottom of a beer glass. However, I’m going to keep checking just in case I’m wrong.
I am not drunk, I’m just chemically off- balanced…
There’s too much blood in my alcohol system.
Bob, that quote is both daft and wrong the correct one is: When life gives you lemons, bring on the tequila! :D
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