A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.
My boss didn’t know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.
Of course I am gonna drive. I am too drunk to walk.
Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!
A drunk man never tells a lie.
If the ocean was vodka and I was a duck I’d swim to the bottom and never come up. But the ocean’s not vodka and I am not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the f**k up!
I only drink alchohol on days that end in y…
Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.
I swear to Drunk, I’m not God!
Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker…
I drink to make other people more interesting. – Ernest Hemingway
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and the time of your life!
I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking
Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.
Act single, see double, drink triple
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? I think not.
I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
DRINK TO FORGET BUT NEVER FORGET TO DRINK!
Money can’t buy you happiness but it can buy you alcohol.
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