Alcohol Quotes | Witty Quotes on the Joy of Drinking

A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.

1

My boss didn’t know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.

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Of course I am gonna drive. I am too drunk to walk.

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Beer is now cheaper than gas, do drink, don’t drive!

1

A drunk man never tells a lie.

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If the ocean was vodka and I was a duck I’d swim to the bottom and never come up. But the ocean’s not vodka and I am not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the f**k up!

1

I only drink alchohol on days that end in y…

2

Whiskey is risky but it makes the girls frisky.

1

I swear to Drunk, I’m not God!

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Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker…

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I drink to make other people more interesting.
– Ernest Hemingway

1

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted and the time of your life!

2

I only drink on 2 occasions when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.

3

I use to think drinking was bad, so I stop thinking

1

Everybody has to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another drink.

2

Act single, see double, drink triple

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24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, coincidence? I think not.

1

I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

3

DRINK TO FORGET BUT NEVER FORGET TO DRINK!

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Money can’t buy you happiness but it can buy you alcohol.

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