Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. – Doug Larson
Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. – Doug Larson
Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe. – Doug Larson
Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring. – Doug Larson
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate. -Doug Larson
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. – Doug Larson
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be a shortage of fishing poles. – Doug Larson
The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren. – Doug Larson
To err is human; to admit it, superhuman. – Doug Larson
More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. – Doug Larson
Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. – Doug Larson
Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk. – Doug Larson
For disappearing acts, it’s hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. – Doug Larson
A true friend is the one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! – Doug Larson
The real secret of patience is to find something to do in the meantime. – Doug Larson
Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. – Doug Larson
Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class management. – Doug Larson
Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away. – Doug Larson
Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours. – Doug Larson
Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. – Doug Larson
The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. – Doug Larson
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three – and paradise is when you have none. – Doug Larson
The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others. – Doug Larson
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. – Doug Larson
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. – Doug Larson
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