Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings

I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games.
– Ben Hogan

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex- wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.
– Lee Trevino

I don’t want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.
– Rogers Hornsby

My most consistent and reliable shot is always the double at the 19th.

Submitted by: Hamilton lloyd on March 12, 2012

You always know a bad golfer’s name. He’s always cursing at himself.

Submitted by: lau on January 5, 2010

I’ve had a good day when I don’t fall out of the cart.
– Buddy Hackett

The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.
– Billy Graham


If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.
– Jack Lemmon

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
– Jim Bishop

Don’t play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty.
– Harry Vardon

I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone’s golf game. It’s called an eraser.
– Arnold Palmer

The size of the divot is directly proportional to the frustration felt.

Submitted by: Alastiair on February 5, 2010

The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
– Ben Hogan

He ain’t no tiger… He’s a cheetah.

Submitted by: Bobby on May 12, 2010

To golf or not to golf?? What a stupid question!


Early to bed, early to rise, golf all day & make up lies.

Submitted by: Cheryl Erickson on April 9, 2013

I now consistently hit the fairways by aiming for the trees on both sides of the fairway.

Submitted by: Hamilton Lloyd on March 12, 2012

I’d rather have my worst day on the golf course, than my best day at work.

Submitted by: BELMAN on November 18, 2011

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
Dave Barry

Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf… And you can keep the fresh air and the round of golf.
– Jack Benny

Golf is horrifying, humiliating, and humbling, but I can’t wait to do it again.

Submitted by: Kay Goodman on October 24, 2012

Golf was invented by wives to get their husbands out of the house on cleaning day.

Submitted by: RobertM on September 3, 2010

Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can’t play it.
– Ted Ray

It says something about the stupidity of a game where the lowest negative score wins.

Submitted by: RobertM on September 3, 2010

I don’t like your golf tips. I just came here to get flustered in order to cut on my weight.

Submitted by: Wasswa samuel anderson on April 5, 2013

They named it GOLF because all the other Four- Letter words were taken.

Submitted by: Danny Chetty on November 1, 2007

His swing looks like he’s fighting off a swarm of bees
His putting stroke looks like he is trying to kick- start a Harley.

Submitted by: homer on May 4, 2010

The only two good balls I hit all day was when I stepped on a rake.

Submitted by: Brian on March 25, 2016

The difference between a great golfer and an average golfer is not that a great golfer is incapable of hitting a poor shot, it is what he does after that shot.

Submitted by: Liam on February 8, 2009

Golf, a sport for the poor admired by the rich.

Submitted by: clive Ntuli on June 30, 2010

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