Funny Men Quotes and Sayings

There are two kind of men who don’t understand women: singles and husbands.
Wise woman always support there husbands career, they know there investing in a higher- future- alimony.
Having more than one wife is bigamy, having more than one husband is insanity!

Submitted by: Angel-100%NL- on January 18, 2010

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.
– Erica Jong

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
– Gloria Steinem

A genius is a man who can rewrap a new shirt and not have any pins left over.
– Dino Levi

If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ – they leave skid marks.

When a woman wants a man’s opinion…She gives it to him.

Submitted by: carrie on November 4, 2011

A man – if he has all the good qualities of a MAN can be considered as one of THE WONDERS OF THE WORLD…

Submitted by: NIKILA on May 24, 2011
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They all say they’re different but really they’re all just the same – boys.

Submitted by: alexlouise on November 10, 2011

I’m a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?
Will Smith

I like my men like I like my coffee. Tied up in a burlap bag and dragged through mountains.

A women needs a man like fish need a bicycle.

Submitted by: Sonia on May 27, 2013

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
Rodney Dangerfield

Men would rather buy you a drink than give you the hard cash to go help yourself.

Submitted by: John Kalumbu on July 20, 2011

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

The man is not a dog – he will not run after bones.

Submitted by: mareniek on September 8, 2013
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A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.
– Lana Turner

Women don’t make fools of men most of them are the “do- it- yourself” types.

We can train a monkey to fly a jet but we can’t train a man to be humble.

Submitted by: C Ray on February 2, 2013

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.
Groucho Marx

To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior’.
Rita Rudner

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work or prison.
– Tim Allen

Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
– Maryon Pearson

Chocolate, men, coffee – some things are better rich.

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
– Elayne Boosler

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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
– Jackie Mason

Men are like blenders. You know you need one, but you’re not sure why.

Submitted by: Paula on March 6, 2012

Men who don’t understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner

Men are like toilets; deep, dark and full of sh**!

Submitted by: Amy on October 14, 2012

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